General Suffer New Friends

[Deleted member 33287]

Curious for anyone who has been raped/sexually assualted did you change friends alot? Also is there a diffrence between someone being your friend and someone making sure you aren't alone

 

[Friday]

Yes. There's a very big difference between someone making sure you aren't alone & a friend, although a friend can make sure you aren't alone.

I can't speak to changing friends often... As I've spent most of my life traveling... I (usually) make new friends all the time. Some stick, and we'll be friends for years, most don't.

As far as friends go, however... I have a whole bunch of different levels for friendship. The lowest level; acquaintance, being merely someone I know. Not even a friend, yet. I've known many people for years that we will probably never pass beyond being acquaintances. I've known thousands of people over the years. I haven't had thousands of friends. They're acquaintances, not friends. Strangers, acquaintances, friends, close friends, confidants, best friends, partners... Is one scale.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

My friend told me she got raped and since that day has pushed me away. I am getting better at accepting the fact that right now until she gets help she needs I will do nothing but trigger her off.

However she has been hanging around a girl who I consider a terrible influince and scared that this will lead to another downard spiral/rape

 

[EveHarrington]

I cycle through friends.

Only ones who survive are the ones who show me they are safe, they understand my episodes and need for space, and above all treat me like I'm normal.

I realize this is a tall order but some friends do survive. The rest just come and go.

 

[Ronin]

she has been hanging around a girl who I consider a terrible influince

As caring as you are about her being a risk factor to herself, that still isn't your call to make and/or responsibility.
You can bring it to her you're worried about her and her stability, but I'd handle judgment on her association choices carefully.

 

[EveHarrington]

Since she's already threatened you with a restraining order, I cannot express enough importance in cutting all contact with this woman. Unfortunate that also means letting her go and not getting involved in any aspect of her life.

I know you care, but once the restraining order threat is put out there it's imperative for you to realize that any and all future contact could be construed as stalking. It doesn't matter that she may be overreacting in your perception.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I agree with @EveHarrington.

@Statsattack, for your own safety, it's time to disengage. Whatever she does is on her.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

I agree with @EveHarrington.

@Statsattack, for your own safet...

Have been gradually disengaging just trying to gain as much clarity on situation as I can.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

Since she's already threatened you with a restraining order, I cannot express enough importance in...

K probably should clarify she hasn't personally threatened me to my face. When she is triggered off she goes on lashes but regardless I'm cutting out things that can make me in same place as her

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm glad to see that you're distancing yourself from this woman.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

Ex I have a boxing match next Friday and can't sparr today because she will be at the gym.

 

[shimmerz]

You shouldn't have to change what your you 'do' because of her. Can you not go and just not communicate with her?