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Suicidal Salutations
- Post starter Symphony
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joeylittle
Sponsor
What leads you to feel like you are dead on the inside?
- Post starter
- #3
@Symphony, you are a beautiful person. Do not let this feeling get the better of you. Our earth needs people like you. Please try to remember that. I know how much it hurts, but we need to keep on keeping on. You would hurt others if you did yourself in. Me, many others here, and people in your real life. Think of that. We are here to help. But I'm not a professional. Do you have a therapist?
RecedingMoonlight
Silver Member
@Symphony I'm sorry, friend. I know that you must be in a terrible ammount of pain. Perhaps going numb is the result of that pain, but I promise you that being numb doesn't necessarily mean death.
In the winter, thousands upon thousands of trees lose their leaves. They look like they're dead. They seem cold, empty, gone. The dancing leaves they once had in blossom fell and left them appearing like husks. But, slowly, with time, the snow melts. The air grows warmer. In the first rays of spring, the trees reawaken and bud. Slowly and gently, we realize that the trees do not look like husks, but rather gently awakening. By the summer, they are beautiful, their leaves dancing in the wind. The trees know that winter comes. But they also know that summer returns too.
Perhaps, right now, you are in winter. You feel empty. Gone. Without life. But, there is a difference. The difference here, is that despite feeling dead, it /does/ matter that you are physically alive. Just like the trees, with time and the guarantee of spring (whether this spring be metaphorical or not), feeling empty and bare does not mean that you are such, nor does it guarantee that this is permanent. The only thing I can offer is that I hope that you hold on. It's hard, and it's brutal. It's so, so difficult to believe, to have faith, to really feel or do anything when really, you feel nothing at all. But even if we can't control our emotions and feelings (or lack thereof), we can /always/ control our actions. So even if you feel there's no point, do hold on. Spring does come. It always does.
Take care of yourself, friend. Speak to someone you know close to you, or to your therapist if you can. None of us are professionals, but I promise you that you are worth it.
Is there anything you feel that might have triggered you to feel like this? Or has this been something that has been happening for a while?
In the winter, thousands upon thousands of trees lose their leaves. They look like they're dead. They seem cold, empty, gone. The dancing leaves they once had in blossom fell and left them appearing like husks. But, slowly, with time, the snow melts. The air grows warmer. In the first rays of spring, the trees reawaken and bud. Slowly and gently, we realize that the trees do not look like husks, but rather gently awakening. By the summer, they are beautiful, their leaves dancing in the wind. The trees know that winter comes. But they also know that summer returns too.
Perhaps, right now, you are in winter. You feel empty. Gone. Without life. But, there is a difference. The difference here, is that despite feeling dead, it /does/ matter that you are physically alive. Just like the trees, with time and the guarantee of spring (whether this spring be metaphorical or not), feeling empty and bare does not mean that you are such, nor does it guarantee that this is permanent. The only thing I can offer is that I hope that you hold on. It's hard, and it's brutal. It's so, so difficult to believe, to have faith, to really feel or do anything when really, you feel nothing at all. But even if we can't control our emotions and feelings (or lack thereof), we can /always/ control our actions. So even if you feel there's no point, do hold on. Spring does come. It always does.
Take care of yourself, friend. Speak to someone you know close to you, or to your therapist if you can. None of us are professionals, but I promise you that you are worth it.
Is there anything you feel that might have triggered you to feel like this? Or has this been something that has been happening for a while?
- Post starter
- #6
Prolonged situation. Been waiting for a treatment program option to become available. Have been in crisis since November. I have no life until I go. Everything is on hold.
RecedingMoonlight
Silver Member
I'm sorry to hear that. It seems unacceptable to me that they'd prolong such a thing. Have you tried contacting them again? I assume you probably have, but I know that sometimes constant pestering can bump people up on waitlists due to the fact that their need for it is continuous (and not a temporary thing that was only 'needed' in november but selected people got 'better' and no longer needed it. which is nonsense). I hope that a spot opens up very soon now.
What kind of little things have you done for yourself? I'm sure you've been doing everything you can, but it is good to be reminded to eat well and say positive things about ourselves sometimes, even if we don't feel like we have any positive aspects, sometimes even just continuously faking positive comments can subconsciously help our esteem.
- Post starter
- #9
RecedingMoonlight
Silver Member
Netflix is good. Disregarding life is the best answer :P
Do you have a therapist at all, Symphony? Hoping that a solution will present to you soon, friend.
The other question:
What's the point of trying to kill yourself, when you can live & revive yourself?
So: What tools & affirmations do you need to live?
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