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General Supporter counselling - helpful?

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Mee

MyPTSD Pro
My partner disclosed my PTSD and his role as a supporter this week to the human resources dept at his work and the team pointed out he has access to several forms of support for himself. They were great and disclosed that its not a situation they are unfamiliar with, more often sexual assault recovery than PTSD.

My partner is strong, emotionally stable and coping but we mooted between us that it would be worth him talking to a professional as a preventative tool and to help him from absorbing or ’playing along’ with any of my self damaging behaviours.

Have other supporters engaged with a professional in this way while ’feeling ok’ As a preventative? Did you find it helpful?

Thank you in advance
 
My wife disclosed my diagnosis at her work. However she did it without discussing it with me first. I kind of put her on the spot where she had to miss work for my medical treatment so I wasn't angry with her, but I wasn't happy about the situation either. We found that everyone was very supportive. They even gave her a company laptop so she could work from home on days where my medical appointments conflict with her work schedule. All in all pretty awesome people; I just feel awkward now when I show up to family company functions because everyone knows and I don't like that.
 
I’m sorry it makes you uncomfortable. Honestly my opinion is most people are more worried about their own problems to think about mine, so I an not too concerned. Also my oartner’s work environment is somewhere HE has to be and I think its his right to do that in this way that makes that best for him. His manager knew about the bare bones of the situation ( at one point I was being threatened with public exposure of private details... And my partner and I decided to disclose the situation where it mattered rather than not report to police)
 
I just don't like to be handled with PTSD gloves. I am me, not my diagnosis. But given the fact that I'm a combat veteran I face a whole set of individual stigma specific to that. Don't get me wrong, everyone is nice, but sometimes they are too nice. I can't tell if they're feeling sorry for me, pittying me, giving me sympathy or if I'm just so out of touch with humanity and this is just the way nice humans treat each other. IDK. I shouldn't complain; they really have been understanding of my wife missing work. Don't stare a gift horse in the mouth, right?
 
I just don't like to be handled with PTSD gloves. I am me, not my diagnosis. But given the fact t...


I am sure you do face stigma. Very real stigma. As a rape victim I feel I do too. Shrug. I absolutely feel, for example, such self hatred and revolution for my self image now and the disbelief people have in the stories of rape victims that I fight a mental narrative of ’ but why would anyone rape HER?’.

I still want my partner to access support if it's a what he wants and b. Useful
 
Getting help is vital for supporters. This is no cakewalk. If I didn't have some kind of outside support I would have lost it by now.

As far as disclosing a partner's PTSD at work... it's a double edged sword. The hard truth of the matter is that having a PTSD sufferer for a partner can often times interfere with work. There was a thread in the supporter section not long ago asking if being a supporter effects your job... it often does in a variety of ways. I've had to call in. I've been distracted and distraught at work. I've had to deal with melt downs and phone calls during work hours. So what do you do? Disclose and violate privacy or lose your job? Something has to give somewhere, especially if your partner isn't employed.
 
I'm not doubting that you also face stigma (maybe that came out wrong) just saying our stigmas are uniquely different. For me it's "there's the killer" I often wonder what secondary thoughts are attached to that...
 
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@Sweetpea76 I understand this, that's why I wasn't mad at my wife. I know she needs the support as well as my trash affecting her job. I don't like the situation, but that doesn't mean I have to be mad at her.
 
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Thanks Sweetpea76.

I am pretty sure HR keep.it confidential and my partner’s boss has and continues to rely on him, praise his work. And he earned a performance related bonus this year.

His work has some option to be home based but get heads a team, he wanted to ask HR how much he could use the home based options and why. They were extremely supportive and suggested he aim for more work from home than he is doing ( I don’t actually think that's a great plan for us because I do not want to be enabled).

He is really good about not worrying While handling work stuff and his position us one where he can, time allowing, call me.


Thank you for confirming this might be a great option :)
 
I get it... I do really. My partner is a combat vet too. He feels the stigma, and he is visibly disabled so he gets all kinds of idiotic questions about his service from randos all the time.

I've just told work that he is disabled from combat, and has issues with PTSD and TBI along with his physical disabilities. I don't go into details, and I've gotten very little judgement from work. I've been lucky that way.
 
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I'm not doubting that you also face stigma (maybe that came out wrong) just saying our stigmas are...


You know; I don’t think I gave heard anyone say that but that really helps me understand how you feel, thank you!

I here other things, sure ( not totally unconnected from military understanding) But that was very powerful.
 
I've had to call in. I've been distracted and distraught at work. I've had to deal with melt downs and phone calls during work hours

This has happened to me to. Work were NOT supportive at all. I now work elsewhere. A job is only a job. If they can't deal with a worker going through this sort of thing, they would certainly not be able to deal with a situation where my parents died or I needed medical treatment. It's called human compassion, plain and simple.
 
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