Surgery To Deal With Physical Problems Caused By Past Abuse

[GWhizz]

So I don't know if anyone has had a similar experiencing, but CSA left me with some symptomatic medical issues. About 2weeks ago I FINALLY went ahead with surgery to help amend the issues. I really thought that having this procedure would help me get over things and move on but now I'm feeling even worse in ways. It's like the post-operative pain is now triggering a lot of emotions related to the past abuse and the pain I would have experienced back then. I'm really finding it difficult to cope and wonder did I do the right thing. I don't even know yet if the surgery was successful or not and I feel as though I just let someone rip me apart even more... I don't even know what question/advice I'm looking to ask about. I just wanted to share how I'm feeling as I recover from this

 

[ghotiff]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

I'm wondering that if you don't yet know if the surgery was successful, then you can't judge yet if it was the 'right thing'. Be gentle with yourself.

 

[Mercy]

I'm sorry your recovery has been rough. I think it just take som time. They say that anesthesia takes a couple of week to totally leave your system.It also can cause depression.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am so sad that you are in so much pain and confusion about your surgery. I wish you the best. Pain is such a hard thing to face and deal with. It makes it so hard to move even. It even messes with your head. I can relate a little. My suggestion is to do a lot of self care, take a lot of naps. I have heard that we heal when we are asleep.

I am just getting over a kidney infection and the pain was agonizing to me and really had me on a negative trend. I had to keep catching myself on that one.

I took a lot of naps. It really helped me while I recovered. Still on the Cipro and it is working. My pain level went from a ten to a one in a few days. I am doing so much better now.

I am so sad that you are having such a difficult recovery. I wish you well again. Soon.

 

[GWhizz]

Thanks for all the replies and kind comments. I am feeling a good bit better now, both physically and emotionally now. I guess I was just worried that I hadn't made the right decision and that, due to a few complications, it may actually worsen the physical problem. But things have settled down a fair bit in lots of ways. I have a small baby who was very sick when I initially came home from hospital, so being up with him night and day didn't help matters either! I don't get much time to nap, though I do agree the anaesthesia may have caused me to be extra emotional - I was crying over NOTHING literally up until a couple days ago! Hence, I haven't had much time/energy to reply.

I think another thing that maybe making me feel a bit worse is that I haven't been physically up to attending therapy since before my surgery. I just couldn't sit there in pain and talk about sensitive issues when the pain is all related. And I had contacted my T to cancel and she was fine about it - then this week she double checked whether or not I was coming this week (I'd made it quite clear last week I couldn't, but I appreciate maybe she just wanted to be sure in case I needed it), then I messaged her to say I would come in 2weeks time if she could let me know if it suited. She never replied, which isn't like her, and - I dunno is this silly but - I was a bit upset that she only seems interested if I'm coming (ie she gets paid) and not genuinely caring otherwise. I get its a professional role and she makes a living from this, but is it too much to ask that she still at least replies, even if it means she's not actually getting paid this week by me? It's such a strange thing, the therapeutic relationship. You get so close to this stranger, tell them more than anyone else, yet at the end of the day, they don't have to extend some basic thoughtfulness when needed at times. Just to add, I don't believe I have transference issues, I was simply taken aback that she was only bothered messaging to see if I'd be there when I'd made it really clear already, yet not bothered confirming a future appointment. I've had to cancel several times before, and she'll always say 'if you do want to come that week anyway...', like she's desperate for the money or something! I dunno, God I really am dramatising this I think!! I think things have just got on top of me lately and I just want her to be straight with me

 

[GWhizz]

@gizmo I hope you're feeling better after your kidney infect btw. I've never had one, but as a nurse I know they can be pretty painful

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you so much. I am feeling better. I am on my second batch of antiobiotics. It was terrible pain.

 

[cherryblossom]

Glad to hear you are feeling better :hug:

 

[Mercy]

I've had to cancel several times before, and she'll always say 'if you do want to come that week anyway...', like she's desperate for the money or something! I dunno,

Hmmmm....My guess is that your T may have not responded immediately because she/he is respecting your need not to be worried about therapy right now. As you have said, you need a little time off from therapy.

I hope your physical pain is becoming less and less as the days go by. Antibiotics bring me down and make me exhausted. Maybe, they do that to you too?

Sending you good thoughts for you and your baby.