Symptoms Going Haywire - Trying To Find Connections

[theshadowoftheliving]

I'm struggling. I can't know what to take seriously, what to write off as psychosomatic, and what to interpret as the connection between all these things.

Since I started PTSD treatment in early April, I feel like I'm falling apart. There was the heart thing (which turned out to be fine - just anxiety). My depression is getting scary. My hair is falling out. My doctor ordered an MRI the other week due to some symptoms I'm having, and it came back abnormal, but he's out of the office till Monday so I can't get any additional info on what "abnormal" means until then.

To top it off, I might be losing my health insurance. I don't know what I'll do if that happens.

I'm so anxious I can't stand it. I'm also so depressed about all of this that its all I can do to not crawl home and get in bed and never, ever come out.

 

[Changing4Best]

If you believe in the Bible, Jesus says in it that we should be concerned with today's troubles only, because tomorrow has enough troubles of its own. The way I interpret that is that God didn't make us to worry about things not related to today, because our minds and bodies are not designed to handle more than one day worth of problems.

In other words, live one day at a time, as the folks in AA say.

 

[ground crew]

I'm struggling. I can't know what to take seriously, what to write off as psychosomatic, an...

Wow! Shit is coming apart! Some of your symptoms are real i would guess. Unknowns are much louder than your own calming voice inside. Maybe abnormal is good. But whatever that test means, the anxiety you seem to be reporting is bad for your condition. It is interpreted as stress & puts out a hormone for that which is really bad for your whole body. So go to the mall and have a pleasant weekend. Relax. They would be a lot more agitated about it if it were really bad news. Like when I called one evening to the doctor complaining about chest pains i had been having. I was on a treadmill the next day. Sooo many tests! I was somewhat afraid. They said unintentionally there was a finding. I pressed for answers they told me to ask my dr. That was really scary! Turns out I was a little bit diabetic. The three days to dr apt were pure hell. The finding was not good news but the timing was great. With this knowledge I have avoided complications for 15 years. Longest weekend ever waiting on the dr apt.

 

[Chava]

I'm sorry you're struggling. The health insurance stuff really stinks. Will you be able to switch or get any kind of coverage? Are you continuing therapy?

I've had abnormal MRIs. Unnerving, for sure. But one thing I can say, without knowing anything about what might be on your MRI, is that the radiologists have to sort of call out anything, then let the doctors do further interpreting. Most of us are abnormal in some sense! I have some cysts, for example. But they won't kill me. I know it's really hard to wait for answers. Would it help you to just focus on good distractions until then? Like whatever helps pass the time safely? In these situations, especially if I don't want to do anything and am depressed, just getting a few good movies is a little helpful. Hang in there...I hope you get some helpful answers from your doc.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Thanks, guys. I'm trying to stay calm and mindful because I know that stress is just going to exacerbate things. But, it's hard. I don't know the results yet, but the doctor has interpreted them already and wants to meet with me in person - but is at a conference, so I have to wait for Monday. I'm so nervous.

It's also frightening because I've had MRIs before - which were normal. So, something has changed.

Trying distraction, meditation, anything to not think on this ....

My therapy is concluding in a week, too. I've made phone calls but haven't gotten anything set up. I'm not sure what is going on with my insurance right now, and because it is the weekend now, I probably can't find anything else out until Monday.

I just want to crawl under a rock and stay still and motionless until I cease to exist.

 

[ground crew]

I get it. I made them take the blood test again because i didn't believe them. After they took my blood again, because the results were days away so I wasn't diabetic yet so I had a tall stack of pancakes. cause I was pretty sure I was not eating pancakes anymore. Good luck. Be well.

 

[Chava]

That's a lot of uncertainty...I know that's hard to handle. Keep doing whatever helps you get through moment by moment. I saw a post somewhere about adult coloring books and thought, OMG I need those!!! Anything.... Answers will come but I know the waiting and unknowing is often the hard part.