Taking It Personal

[ladee]

Awww @Ed Norton, how sweet of you to say my presence is missed.... I know you are busy, and I pop in every once in awhile...I think we have been missing each other. Am on a bit of a roller coaster right now....:confused::eek::cautious::roflmao::sleep:!!! so if I start feeling lost in chat I just leave... nothing against anyone, just where I am on my journey. But I do appreciate you thinking of me...means a lot to me... You are such a good friend... and I certainly understand you being busy and all over the place.... it's you !!! And I appreciate that about you... You will see me now and again.... thanks again and lots of :hug:'s if you accept them.....

 

[Ed Norton]

@ladee
:hug:

 

[Knak]

Awesome for you @Knak, that you don't let the anger be heard... unfortunately, I haven't...

I can't take credit. I was shaped to accept negative input and take blame not mine, and punished for expressing anger, plus as a child I depended so much on God and did not want to disappoint Him.

I took the information from authority figures as truth and thought if I followed it I would figure out what was wrong with me and get out of the quagmire. Not until I had a complete breakdown did I see things without a filter and even now I am so sensitive to rejection I feel I can't afford to make someone defensive. I am a placater.

It did help me develop more ability to use reason to respond.

 

[ladee]

I hate that for you @Knak, that you try so hard not to make someone defensive. Both you and I are searching for balance. Mine coming from having no respect for Authority. Just because "they" said it , didn't make it so... so have been on the bad end of authority a lot in my life. I was not raised with any kind of religion or talk about God in our home. So as I got older I started my own search. I know for me that was a good thing... I could form my own opinions, ask questions, ect. I didn't grow up thinking God cared about me, so I didn't have that to help me either. I have been around people that talk loud, and I always feel they were not heard when younger. I tend to seek them out. Am drawn to them for some reason.... birds of feather, that kind of thing...
So I appreciate your reply. Post when you feel like it... and I HEAR you !!