Talking about a sensitive topic in therapy?

[KatelynG]

Ok, so I was sexually abused for years but when I was 12 I got my period and it just made him so much more angry and aggressive. He used to come at me more often and he would make me self harm every month when I got my period as a way of punishing me. I want to talk about this with my T but honestly I am so so embarrassed to talk about anything period related with anyone even my T even though she is so nice and supportive. I feel like I would just be so embarrassed and I don't know if this rational thinking but a part of me is worried that she might find periods an awkward topic to discuss. I just don't know what to do :(

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I promise you that periods are perfectly normal to talk about nowadays, even in mixed company. Because your therapist is female, she knows and understands periods. Maybe you feel like that twelve year old (while you are in therapy) who was punished for having one. You fear that the therapist would judge you. But... therapists don't judge. That is why we pay them, to help us deal and process in a safe environment where we can show our vulnerability.

 

[NightSky]

Couldn't possibly word it better than @TexCat did. For sure it would not be an awkward topic for your T. And that sounds like something really important to talk about.

 

[Eagle3]

I also have anxiety surrounding my period, but my T is a guy...it took me a while to be able to talk about it openly and frankly, but I'm glad I finally did. Seeing his non-reaction to the topic helped me feel that way about my own period, even though it still tends to be uncomfortable for other reasons. Yeah, T's hear about periods all the time since 1.) there is a lot of abuse that happens around the general subject and 2.) health and hormones can be followed by periods.

 

[Friday]

How awkward of a topic do you find helicopters? I find them almost impossible. My stomach rises into my throat, shame vices around my heart, and I may actually melt into a puddle on the floor in embarrassment one of these days. It's a hugely awkward sensitive charged topic for me. Especially because following a head trauma most of the numbers and specs I used to know better than my own name? I would not only have to look up :bag: but then would promptly forget a few minutes later. Except for random flashes of information that strike out of the blue and then whisp away like fog.

I bet you TOTALLY get like that with helicopters, right? :D :tup:

Sigh. Yeah. Probably not.

Same will most likely be true for your therapist. Menses is embarrassing to you for the same reason jellywhoppers are embarrassing for me. Trauma. Other people? Don't feel the same way we feel about things tangled up in our pasts.

 

[desiderata310]

I recently went into the whole Why I dress the way I dress, AKA The World and Being a Woman According to Desi

It covered a multitude of things including menses, womanhood in general, etc. I have to give my therapist credit, he never even shifted in his chair. He learned a good bit about me and what I value.
If my male therapist can sit through that and be able to contribute in a valuable manner to the conversation, I would say that your therapist can probably deal with menses even though he's never experienced it himself.

 

[Rumors]

Perhaps looking at the reasons why your abuser became more violent after you became of age would ease the anxiety behind topic? Looking at it from a global perspective, the fact you started your period triggered something in your abuser. Perhaps he was afraid he could get you pregnant now and was punishing you for having to use a condom? I guess what I am ultimately trying to say is that there are bigger, deeper things you can look at that mean more and could potentially help you overcome the shame that your abuser left you with.
Hope it gets easier!!!