Talking too much when nervous

[littlestars]

I keep talking too much whenever I'm trying to avoid my own thoughts and feelings. I went from being around only four to eight people for years to being around at least fifty a day in the last few months. I'm in shock, honestly. I have surprised myself that I still have social skills. However, I still have PTSD and social anxiety accompanies it. It seems as though I can't think before I speak, I talk too much, and self-conscious. I'm aware of my behavior now because I realized that I am being annoying and/or disruptive. A lot of people like me and I'd like for them to continue to do so, but if I don't stop this habit now it won't be very good.

I thought and thought about why I could possibly be reacting this way to social situations. I realized that it's because I'm trying to avoid/escape my thoughts and feelings that are really intense right now. I'm having a rough time in therapy with confronting the aspects involved in my flashbacks. I'm trying to be mindful of my behavior, but I'm not always catching it. I don't know what else to do to cope so I can just shut up.

I feel really upset about this because I'm making a fool of myself at times and it's all because I'm struggling emotionally and mentally. I'm just making everything harder on myself. Please help :(

 

[J'qel]

As soon as you realize it, apologize and then stop and count in your head. I babble when anxious and I've had to do this before. The counting slows my breath and heart rate and gives me time to listen rather than blurting things out.

 

[Will86]

I personnally love people who don't think before they speak, they are true, authentic and pure.
Sure, sometimes when they say something you are like ''wtf?'' because it can sounds a bit too much but people tend to move on very quickly because they see you as a person with good intentions and innocence. Trust me, they can probably feel you are in pain which make them even more compassionate toward you.
Your issues somehow helped you to overcome your social anxiety, how great is that ? You found good in bad, you found the best way to remain positive.
Don't feel bad for making a fool of yourselves sometimes, everyone does anyway. It's part of an active social life. We all come back home sometimes and tell ourselves ''shit, what did I say or did that?'' totally normal and most of the time we exaggerate. People forget what you said or did wrong very very quickly.
Please, don't shut up :roflmao:

 

[FireSign8]

I used to beat myself up for being outspoken in public. Over time, I learned that there is a big difference between having people "like" me & having them "accept" me. I only want to be accepted as I am. If the people I talk to don't, then I figure it's a win for me because I don't need phony people who have "conditions" with freedom of speech. I like people who just say what's on their minds. It's a good way to show you are real!:D As I get older, I can use the "folly" rule, as older people have the "right to folly" & make mistakes in life, just as children do!!!

 

[littlestars]

Thank you all for your replies. It's so helpful. :inlove:

 

[SnowyLeopard]

@littlestars: I was feeling sort of alone on this until I read your post, so thank you for sharing! I have issues with aphasia, which causes me to mix up words and further embarasses me when I talk to much. It seems like I can only talk in length, or not at all at times.

 

[dulcia]

I tell people my whole life story much too quickly. Then obsess over what I should or shouldn't have said the rest of the day afterward. Thought this was just an awkward I was homeschooled social skill thing for me. Maybe it is an anxiety thing.

 

[The Albatross]

I had/did this. So did my mother and grandmother... I think for us it is sort of a learned behavior. In the end, I found it was disruptive, confusing for the receiver of the communication and had to reign in the compulsion/habit to run on and over and learn how to manage better how to have and be willing to risk a more open exchange. So worth it.

For me, it came down to being willing to be vulnerable for a mutual exchange rather than steam rolling with verbage over the stress/anxiety/distress of the situation for myself.

 

[Jazzypugh]

I am a senior manager at work and I have the same problem!! Especially in meetings. I end up making a complete arse of my self. It's so embarrassing! Sometimes even my boss just throws me a look as if to say..... what the hell is she going to say next!

 

[Raj]

I thought only I did this, glad to know I'm part of a movement! We are who we are. If people are cruel about my nervous chatter I move on to kinder groups.

Raj