Taunting Pushes Me Over The Edge

[EveHarrington]

I want to f*cking tear someone apart. I mean LITERALLY attack them. I never get like this. Unless people taunt me. I hate being taunted. And I want to f*cking smash my iPhone because it's silencing me with f*cking autocorrect. I hate taking my medication but when it gets this bad I have to which means tomorrow is shot. I hate being taunted. It's the worst form of silencing and I end up flipping out. There is no way to defend yourself to someone who is taunting you so when you feel unsafe you feel like physically attacking them as it's the only way you can have a voice. The f*cking asshole is lucky he lives hours away from me. I end up wanting to attack them (no weapon, bare hands, probably because it would be more gratifying) and attack myself with a knufe, anything to make the taunts go away. I'm not safe. I want to run away I want to hurt myself. Anything to make it stop.

 

[aut555]

I want to f*cking tear someone apart. I mean LITERALLY attack them. I never get like this. Unless...

Sorry to hear this. Sorry you feel this way. I can tell you l am divorcing a totally evil man, but l must just live with my hatred of him. It's super tough.

 

[hodge]

I know the feeling of how upset you are. But please don't hurt yourself. That asshole deserves to be ignored. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he upset you.

:hug:s

 

[sedna]

Seriously Eve, I know you cant control your reactions but please please dont let him know you have them anymore.

That taunting is exactly what he relies on to make himself important to you.

TAKE IT AWAY FROM HIM

You have the power to make him worthless, use it.

 

[Friday]

Wow. I'm like this every day. Firestorms. Outward or inward.

Same stuff you do for other symptoms. Meds are good if you've got them, and are out of control. Also; Grounding. Breathing. Burning it off. Distraction. Self Care. Lowering stress. Same tricks you use for everything else work on rage & fight response, too.

If this becomes a thing, there's tons of tricks to redirect rage & vent it before it becomes so out of control. :)

 

[EveHarrington]

Seriously Eve, I know you cant control your reactions but please please dont let him know...

You're right. He knows the taunting makes me crazy. This is the first time I've wanted to claw his eyes out though.

I feel helpless like Ralphie when he turned and beat the crud out of Scut Farkus in a Christmas story after Scut was taunting him. It's that darn helpless feeling that makes you want to attack.

 

[hodge]

You are not helpless. You are a smart woman and can do things to take care of yourself and leave this moron in the dust where he belongs. Try not to give him another thought. He's not worth it! You, on the other hand, are totally worth it! Take care of yourself . . . all the things Friday suggested.

 

[aut555]

The last five years of my marriage felt like that. And l couldn't raise a finger, because he was foaming at the mouth trying to provoke so he could get me committed. He is a psy md. I wouldn't stand chance.

 

[sedna]

You're right. He knows the taunting makes me crazy. This is the first time I've wanted to claw hi...

He'll wind you up and then point at you and go. " see? she's crazy! "

I was married to that then spent 6 years in court paying expensive suits to do it for him.
I'm telling you from personal experience, when you suddenly sound bored by it, they try harder to get to you
so it gets a little worse at first, then THEY start sounding nuts when they try to get you going or lie about you to other people.

Its the only thing that works and its also the best revenge. SOUND BORED AT ALL TIMES.

Dont even respond to him unless you have to for some reason.

 

[EveHarrington]

Him: You're a total shithead. All of your actions point to total shitheaded-ness.

Me: No, I am not! I act this way because I feel _______ about myself. I'm not just a total shithead.

Him: SEE! I was right! All your thoughts prove you're a total shithead! You're just proving that I'm right! I'm right, and you're wrong!

And on and on and on. This was the gist of it all but it's hard to type out taunts for some reason. I used "shithead" as the example but it was actually something else that I rather not disclose as he's taunting me for what he sees as a choice / character flaw that I can easily change but the truth is that my thoughts are well ingrained beliefs that are direct results of my trauma.

It feels incredibly crappy to be taunted over direct results of trauma.

It would be like taunting a person about the way they walk when they limp permanently as a result of a car accident.

This is why it hurts so bad. I'm continued to be SHAMED for what happened to me.

 

[hodge]

Eh, cripes, Aut! I'm so glad you're safely out of that!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

SOUND BORED AT ALL TIMES.

Dont even respond to him unless you have to for some reason.

Worked for me for exact same reason!