Tests About Myself

[shimmerz]

@Abstract, I totally missed your posting somehow! We must have cross posted or something, or I AM going totally nuts.

So it is perhaps something with that test. Honestly, I felt the split in me so distinctly, I thought to myself, 'why have I even bothered to heal - I am a MESS'. Pretty disheartening. I really appreciate your posting. Thank you.

As a general rule I don't fill out these 'who are you' tests, so that is why this one freaked me right out. I couldn't believe the dichotomy in my head when it came to answering.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I am not DID btw, but there is a huge difference between the pre trauma me and the post trauma me.

Does anyone else have this problem at all? Do you have the feeling that you don't know how to answer questions about yourself?

There was no "pre-trauma" me, since it was a childhood-long thing for me. But I do see a huge difference in "pre-recovery" and "in-recovery" versions of myself.

I think I actually took a Myers-Briggs type of test back in college 2 decades ago, and scored ISTJ. But at that time, I was idealizing a simplified version of my dad (I don't think he's actually ISTJ...this was just the way I thought of him at the time).

After college and until fairly recently, I was deeply enmeshed with my mom (and distant from her in some significant ways, too), and I tried to emulate her. I saw her as the epitome of wisdom. She's a very unhealthy INFP, and although I didn't know much of anything about MBTI at the time, I can look back and see many of those traits in my behaviors and attitudes before I started recovery...traits I've had to try to get rid of because they're so unhealthy for me. And it kinda surprised and relieved me when I later turned out to be INTP instead.

It's really been a discovery process to figure out how I'm different than my parents. I always thought I had to be a combination of their traits, not something new. But I still don't really know who I am, and it can be difficult to answer those test questions with precision.

One thing that helps me is reading the descriptions of each type to see which one(s) resonates the most. Also, try visiting some forums where each type leads the conversations, and see which conversations resonate the most with you. One more option is to read/listen to some good resources that discuss different types' strengths and weaknesses and unique characteristics. Here are some good sites:

personalityhacker.com (great podcasts, and they have some stuff on YouTube, too)
personalityjunkie.com (has some good descriptions of the types)
16personalities.com (also good descriptions of the types)
personalitycafe.com (a different forum for each subtype for mbti, enneagram, and others)

 

[Deleted member 34328]

just a thought and note to self... maybe time to stop trying and analysing and just be.... if only it wer...

Soooo true!!!

 

[barefoot]

I think the Ennegram is a bit of a weird one...in quite a few ways! It came up through a course I did at work once and I got interested enough to look into it more and buy a book and an app.

My biggest challenges with it were:

1) It asks you to answer as though you are a certain age (under 18 or under 21, I think?) And I found that really difficult - to answer as "then" and not as "now".

2) Connected to the above point, I really couldn't work out if the answers I was giving were because of who I inherently am or who I have become with age/experiences. And trying to work that out - and not ever actually working that out - felt very stressful and, yes, felt like I was going a bit nuts.

3) When I read the book I bought I actually identified strongly with quite a few of the numbers' checklists, so I felt a bit meh about it (though I have done the test a few times, several months apart, and I consistently get the same answer).

4) In the end, I concluded that it was about on par with horoscopes ;-)
(Not wanting to start a debate on astrology/horoscopes!)


Basically, with a lot of personality models/tests, I do always get tangled up when I'm answering the questions in the whole "is this who I really am or have I just become this way because of the experiences I've had?" And by experiences, I met all, good and bad - not just trauma. And that then leads me to think about the whole nature/nurture debate - how much is our personality set from the start and how much is developed, who are we without our experiences etc...

So, anyway...yes...I'm with you on the confusion this stuff can cause. Particularly for those of us who like to analyse and who have a tendency to overthink ;-)