That Exaggerated Startle Reflex

[BradyLady]

Although my husband and I both have PTSD, I know it's different in individual cases. We are not all going to have the same symptoms showing up in the same way.

So, I have that exaggerated startle reflex, and my husband appears not to.

Early in our marriage, as we were getting undressed for bed, my back was turned when my husband took his belt off. I know I have nothing to fear from him, and it has been decades since anyone actually used a belt on me. Still, that unexpected zzzzip sound of the leather sliding through the belt loops, and I was instantly under the bed. Yeah, that's when you know that what you went through as a child was not mere parental discipline. If your husband is innocently getting ready for bed, and you take cover before you even realize you've taken cover, something went wrong somewhere. It took some discussing for him not to take that personally. I'm not afraid of *him,* and he certainly didn't do anything he shouldn't have done.

It still happens. He'll walk into the room unexpectedly, and I'll gasp and jump like a bomb just went off. He still thinks it's his responsibility to calm me down. "It's just me. Everything's all right." I keep reassuring him, I don't think this startle reflex is ever going to go away, but it is NOT his fault when he sets it off. It's not like he's trying to. No, I didn't mistake him for a burglar. For a split second there, the reflex made my body work without me, but I know it's just him, and I know he's not going to hurt me. Nothing can be done about that split second.

Or can it? Does anyone know of a way to manage the startle reflex?

 

[cat-lady]

Certain medications make startle reflex worse. For example, I used to be on an asthma med that made me have a huge increased startle whenever someone walked into the room. Even though I had ptsd before that I never had the startle until the medication. Then when I stopped using it the reaction went away again. Anyway, I don't know if that applies in your situation but I thought I would mention it. If it doesn't apply then I'm not sure what would work. I'm guessing a therapist could do some sort of exposure therapy though.

 

[hodge]

I don't know, BradyLady. I have the same problem. I jump even when I know the dryer buzzer is going to go off or the oven buzzer is going to go off. The worst is when the phone rings because of course we never know when that is going to happen. When I go to see my psych, who I really like, I jump when he comes into the room. I have just started therapy with a trauma specialist and whenever we can get to this issue, I will let you know what she says. Cause, yeah, it's a real pain.

 

[EveHarrington]

I don't think so given that it's automatic.

Mine has gotten better over time but not because I'm actively working on making it better.

I wouldn't know how to make it better. I don't think there's a way to override a mechanism like this as it's something that evolved to keep us alive.