The anonymous function

[Mach123]

I totally understand it and have used it often. There were so many things I couldn't say even to myself for so long. I couldn't write anything down ever. It took me years to write things I couldn't say. Then I had to say it out loud. The secrecy is impossible to understand I guess if you don't have CSA? The abuser was still going to kill me if I said anything? It's not even secrecy it's trauma. It's the result of a narcissist injury you lose your voice so you are by definition, anonymous.

 

[anonymous]

I totally understand it and have used it often. There were so many things I couldn't say even to mysel...

I totally understand this. I could have almost written it! Thanks for saying what I couldn't.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Mach123 One of my abusers was one of my brothers. When the other brother finally admitted to the family what he had done to me and that what I had been saying all along was the truth, my other brother (the other abuser) threatened to kill me.

I don’t hide, he knows where I am and I don’t care. He knows the truth as do I, but he twists it to fill his need to be guilt free. That’s his problem, not mine.

I find that speaking about my trauma has been cathartic in many ways.

I’m so enjoying the responses. Sorry I don’t push the like button on the anonymous postings. I just can’t find it in me to do that. Doesn’t mean your post are not worthy, they are..

 

[lostforgottensoul]

The secrecy is impossible to understand I guess if you don't have CSA? The abuser was still going to kill me if I said anything? It's not even secrecy it's trauma. It's the result of a narcissist injury you lose your voice so you are by definition, anonymous.

I feared the cult and the cult finding me (still do and both cult leaders are now dead). I didn't use it for that but I understand the fear and why one would use it due to that. I think many can get that and why one would want to use it due to that.

 

[anonymous]

Anon No. 3 here..

I have used it and will continue to do so. It's there for a reason and whoever is using it doesn't have to justify their reason. There are so many reason's a person may want to use this function and I don't think anyone on the forum should object or question the use of it.

I know that googling can bring up stuff from this site. The internet never forgets and yes people and sites are hacked everyday. (I am not saying there is anything wrong with this site in terms of security).

It is also good to remember the privacy conditions on this site. If you haven't read them. Have a good look. If push came to shove...the site might need to hand over info., (I am talking legal proceedings here). Some people are in precarious situations but need help all the same. I am not meaning legal advice, I mean support and understanding but just cannot do it without that extra layer of support.

Sometimes you have to give a description of something that only someone interested in hurting/ finding you might know. It is happening folks. This is the internet. If you don't have that type of situation happening feel grateful. If you do, it is a good thing to be cautious and use the anon function.

I don't want to be identified..it would bring me a world of problems that I wish would go away but never will. And please respect me for not having to explain why that is so.

Some people are just not in a position to be so 'open' about their identities/trauma and that is fine. They are still seeking help, still wanting information and connection.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I have gone through my mind many times on what would happen if every member of my family, therapist and friends read every single detail that I have posted here as anonymous or me, in both diaries, chat, pm’s and threads. I think a small part of me would want that (with exception to my kids), just to put all of the ugly out there. Just vomit it all over the place and then recover. I guess it would reveal who really cares, loves and forgives, but it would also hurt people. Especially the man that I love more than anything in this world, my parents and friends. And more than likely, at that time I would end up in an inpatient facility. So... yes, there is a huge risk to be “Texcat” on this site in this day and age of hackers. Even being anonymous probably has just as many risks. Why am I here and why do I post? Because I am trying to make sense of why I have this stupid mental condition and heal. So, I participate and write stuff, mostly as me... sometimes as anonymous.

 

[anonymous]

Poster of #20 here

Yes, exactly @TexCat I just done a few searches on google, in some cases all I needed to type was a particular word that I know a member here would use in real life in reference to what they call a relative of theirs and then ptsd so like '*** ptsd' and one of their public threads about that relative came up as the very first in the list. It never occurred to me when I first joined the site that that would be possible. As time went by however, I began to wonder, especially when my abusive ex showed me how easy it was to hack a well known video sharing website. Actually SHOWED me. And yeah, it seems quite easy if you know what you're doing. Then I did start googling in just the way I described and found that yes, if you type specific words along with the four letter 'ptsd' .. public threads from here do indeed just pop right up on google. :banghead:

I further felt unsafe as more time went by and the 'share this page' bar started appearing at the top of every page on the site.. including on the member diaires.

My other concern about privacy here was voiced by someone in their own diary when they started it. They made a very good point indeed - you don't need any proof you have ptsd to join the site and therefore ANYONE can just join it and read those diaries freely. Once they have 5000 posts or even just pay for premium they also then have access to reading the premium thread section too.

Another thought I've had a few times when reading diaries is when I've read people criticizing others who haven't actually traumatised or abused them, you know the sort of comment like 'he's an arsehole, she looks old for her age' etc.. and if there are bits elsewhere in the diary that are quite obvious, for instance what city or town the person lives in or other potentially identifying words they may have used in their diary.

And yes, it's all there forever, so once you've typed that you and your partner had a huge argument one time and you went off saying he's a huge jerk, you hate him etc.. that's there forever..

I guess it is up to individuals what they share and how they share it at the end of the day. Same goes for on any other sites like Netmums and goodness knows all the other forums out there.

 

[Freida]

I was on the anonymous forum for quite a while before I jumped in. mostly due to shame and fear of being identified. There have been times I've wanted to use it on individual threads but I'm working on trust and honesty so I make myself post as me. (Or at least the me y'all know!)

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Freida Yes, I do think that posting without the anonymous function is all about trust and letting go of the shame. the shame part is something that all of us need to find a way to let go of, especially if it’s because of the direct trauma.

Many of us here that have been through childhood abuse, rape, or any kind of abuse... We weren’t responsible for it. Yet, I know it’s hard to let go of shame and some of the emotions and feelings around it. Just something to work on and let go of, as it’s a huge part of what holds us back.

Thanks for the answers. I do understand why some use the function, I just hope that someday they can post without it.

 

[Mee]

I don’t mind people knowing I have ptsd or mostly WHY I have ptsd. I do not like traceability or searchability of posts. It’s happened to me before that people that THINK they know the story have followed me from a social media site. It was unpleasant and unsettling but confirmed that lies were being told and they were not ‘stable’ people. I am secure in that I have told only the truth. The police have already been involved in my situation and have been wonderfully supportive.

I have a secret. My name is not Mee . . I do not like the flag thing. But ... it is what it is.

I think a huge part of the social issue is we are shamed. When it is not us that should feel shame. Whether we are sufferers by accident or resultant of crime : We should not have shame.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

Another thought. Google and my ptsd. When you google search stuff like “disassociation” or any ptsd type thing, threads pop up including your screen name from the thread.

This NEVER occurred to me...yikes.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I definitely innerstand the feeling of wanting to be anonymous for safety sake, but being safe online is truly a crap shoot, in many ways nowadays.

I think if I felt the anonymous option was truly anonymous, I might be more drawn to using it at times for topics that feel more sensitive to me, but I don't think anything that we put online can or ever will be, even though it gives us the impression it can.

Our writing style/tone, key words often used, descriptors of events, emotional reactions, as well as our chosen electronic devices make it impossible to ever be 100% truly anonymous, it seems.

Maybe the jaded memories of being a former state employee where I was stringently taught to never put anything in writing in any way, shape, or form that I wasn't fully prepared and ready to defend in a court of law lingers in the back of my mind in my online interactions.

It also bugs me when I occasionally see some pretty snippy responses and feel attitudes coming through towards others in the anonymous threads that I don't typically see/feel in the other threads, so I tend to steer clear of that space more often than not.

However, I'm glad the space exists for those who wish to use it and who have greatly benefited from having it available. Different strokes for different folks, as with everything else in this existence.