The Best Things

[qwyoey]

As I'm new to my therapy journey, I've found it both difficult and also uplifting at the same time. I'd love to hear any POSITIVE things from anyone out there that you have learned for getting the most out of therapy, or even some ah-ha moments which were important for your recovery.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Negative experiences with therapists have taught me to be more assertive, so that's one positive thing.

 

[Friday]

I'd love to hear any POSITIVE things from anyone out there that you have learned for getting the most out of therapy...

Probably the most important thing is that they need to be more experienced than I am! I had an absolutely amazing marriage & family therapist... Who in fact spent a solid year convincing me that I needed to be working on PTSD stuff, that my current problems were exacerbating that as opposed to the other way around (but-but-but my problems now are all shiny... ) Yep. He was right. I knew my past had slammed into me like a freight train, but I wanted to get rid of that, by getting rid of my current problems. Come to find, it really doesn't work that way. Sigh. He spotted it straight off, by the end of the year? Even stubborn as I am I couldn't deny it. The downside on that was that he isn't a trauma therapist. He knew it, but still managed to hang tough with me during that year while I tried to find other options. So he was experienced enough to see what I needed, but not experienced enough to be able to provide that. He did try, very very hard, but by the end I had to concede that point as well. <grin> So a bit of a double edged sword, that one!

2nd piece is that there are certain personalities I simply gel with better than others. 5 people can all be saying the same exact thing... But the way they naturally go about saying it? Hugely important in how well I'm able to hear it. That's nothing right or wrong with either of us, it's simply a personality thing. Doesn't matter how amazing they are for someone else. If I cannot hear them? It doesn't make them a bad therapist, or me a bad client. It makes the two of us a bad fit.

 

[qwyoey]

Thanks @FridayJones ! I'm very fortunate to have an extremely experienced trauma neuropsychiatrist. I knew my situation was complex so I kinda went to the top of the pile of options. Luckily they had an opening for me and we clicked right away. I had a list of great names I looked at but this one just worked right off the bat. I feel extremely fortunate for that! I was prepared to shop around, but grateful to get started right away instead.

 

[falling_wave]

I am so lucky because my T is invested in me and very empathetic. She realizes what is going on in the therapy relationship and normalizes it. I think my therapy has been most helpful by learning to explore difficult things and trust a safe person. Her consistent nurturing but realistic responses take away some of my shame and fear not only in the room but in my life. The trust and attachment I have with her gives me confidence and strength I didn't know I had to make big changes in my life. She definitely challenges me but is open about only doing it because she believes I am capable of it. I'd day the biggest catalyst for change is in the therapy relationship itself. It can foster whatever you let it foster for bad or good. I'm lucky enough to have a T that uses it for good.

 

[falling_wave]

My T also thanks me for being vulnerable when it's hard to share something like she is truly grateful that I trusted her so much. Somehow that increases my trust in her tenfold. My biggest breakthrough was feeling debilitating shame about something, telling her though I was terrified, having her thank me for trusting her, and having her be even more connected and invested than she probably was before. It gave me hope for my life and I'm not sure if she will ever know to what extent.

 

[qwyoey]

@falling_wave that's so nice you have a trusting relationship. Sounds like a really good one!