The Chatroom Is Pretty Cliquey/selective. What Gives?

[Epuz]

Also, having a profile image rises the chance someone will talk to you, as it's sorta hard for many of us to get around without some easy way to differentiate people, especially for the dyslexic ones, which are a fair few

 

[Ezev]

What would you like to happen in chat instead of your current experience?

 

[Lukeme]

I think it's hard to jump into a conversation at times. Like the other night I found 2 people on that I usually chat with quite openly but this time they were in the middle of a topic that I just couldn't get involved in. Whilst normally I would chat with these people, I found it difficult to engage in the conversation. It all depends on the topic at hand. You can't expect to jump into the chat and break up an already existing conversation it's just bad etiquette. You have to either engage in the topic at hand or wait for the opportunity to change the topic once the current topic of conversation has died down. It's no different than a real conversation face-to-face.

 

[Ubus]

Do check the time stamps.
If someone said something 5 minutes ago they may not be there, even if the list says they are.
Too, I know I have a bad habit of wandering in, saying something, then wandering off.
I don't human so well.

 

[Mizik]

What would you like to happen in chat instead of your current experience?

A response every once in a while would be a change. Also, I didn't know chat wasn't a place to discuss serious issues on a site devoted to serious issues (though I see others talking about it among themselves sometimes). Now that I know that (based on other responses) I know not to try again. I imagine that there are others who, like me, come here because we don't find the support we need in real life and it's taken effort to make it to the site to begin with. Reaching out is hard enough and when others leave you out it makes a bad situation harder to handle - not that my feelings are others' responsibility, but so you know where I'm coming from.

 

[Apemi]

Guys, don't forget this site is a privilege, and the chat itself is a privilege.

Also, how would you take someone forcing you into a certain topic? Most people see the chat as a place for light hearted talks and some discussions, and it has been said many times over it's not a crisis support spot

 

[Azari]

I find, chat can have many moods.
There are times of great support when someone's in need. I have been on chat when someone was in crisis. But I've also gotten lost in there to. I hope you try again, because it can be very supportive.

 

[Niwa]

Naturally the ones in the cliques will defend it.

There's a difference between defending & explaining.

:shifty: "Is not!" "Is too!" :cautious:

-vs-

:) "Here! Lemme show you around!" :)

 

[Ejeh]

Give chat another chance. You may find you enjoy it. Personally i always stop even if mid conversation and say hi to someone who joins the chat as i know it can be hard to take the first step. i tend to use chat , as someone notes above, to goof around and relax and chill a little, although i have been in conversations where someone has asked for help and im happy to help if i can. Each to their own i say.

 

[Ijir]

I love to chat, but sometimes I drop out unexpectedly, or have to leave because I can't keep tabs of the chat room as much as I would like to so I will either lurk there and pop in when I can or something comes up and I have to leave quickly without notifying anyone I'm gone. I love to chat with people on there, but I will say sometimes I just don't feel like chatting and I just lurk. If someone says "hi!" even though I'm slow to respond sometimes, if I'm there I'm always willing to chat if I'm available. :) I've never really felt it was clique-ish, but I do admit when I got here the chat was very busy and I was intimidated so I didn't go on there for a few days until I felt comfortable. I also leave sometimes when the chat gets too upsetting for me to read because I wouldn't be able to handle it, as someone mentioned above. If someone does need to talk about something serious though and I feel I can handle it, I will offer to listen if someone wants to PM me. :)

I hope you are in chat next time I am there! I will talk to you!

 

[Ohos]

I can see both sides here. It can be light hearted but I have also seen people come in and say things like, "my boyfriend tried to kill me just now." Excuse me? Is this really the *best* solution? While some may have no where else to go, I cannot lend that type of support. There must be a compromise somewhere.

 

[Isape]

It stinks to feel ignored.

Please remember this is a community of people also struggling with their own stuff too, who may struggle to just get to the site too. It's not a professional therapy or crisis intervention service. You probably already know this, but it's important to remember this is a peer support site. The folks here are your peers.

I suggest looking into other possible interpretations as to why there is no response at any point in time. Those that you feel are intentionally ignoring you could actually be in their own crisis or struggle just to survive. They may not have enough speed or don't feel comfortable in the environment of chat for their own social anxiety reasons. We are peers with the many of the same battles.

If you are going into chat and posting something like "hi" and nothing happen for a long time, well, that's normal even for those who talk in chat all the time. The section that says "members in chat" is not a reflection of people actually looking at the chat the chat screen at that moment. It's not like everyone is logging into chat thinking "oh not the new person, umma just gonna sit here and ignore you on and on and on."

I challenge you to undo these belief that all these people are more capable than you and don't respond out of intent to ignore you or anyone else.

I also would suggest that this might have been a more productive thread if it would have been posted to ask how chat works, why don't people respond, etc. it's kind of a little push/pull and passive aggressive to come here and anonymously insult everyone you actually want support from.

You did at least get quite a bit of response and attention here, so I hope you can see you are certainly not being ignored.