The Chatroom Is Pretty Cliquey/selective. What Gives?

[Ovub]

I don't think you are a problem

 

[Odo]

Asga... I misunderstood, I thought you were the or original poster and that was why you started the post. Sorry, hope you expect my apology.

 

[Icefu]

I watched myself be criticised by a member now banned. He twisted absolutely everything I had said to him in pc's And no one stopped him that night.

People need to take care what they say on there, witnessing that hurt me very very much as it was slander.

Did you report it?

 

[Davurok]

That's o, k, I'm not the original poster.

I am curious why I get ignored or, people will say hi then... Nothing. So I was ending up just sitting reading everyone else's posts.

 

[Lonub]

I had already reported him and he was being watched, then he hit out at me elsewhere on site and got banned. The point I am trying to make though is I was being given a bad name for no reason. He twisted everything and used chat to try to turn people against me. It was very unfair at the time as I was actually just trying to protect myself from being cyber stalked.

But yeah, I expect a lot of people don't use chat because they get ignored or a hi, then nothing.

 

[Ilu]

I will say, I can get lost sometimes in chat. I do try and greet everyone and talk. If it's moving fast, I can miss things. I feel I get along with everyone. At least I try.
Mytime!

 

[Tane]

Ok folks.

The site is predominantly a forum, not a chat room. So, chat is a tiny part of what we do. As such it's not got the bells and whistles that would make it far more interactive. That's by design.

When you see a list of members that are in chat - that indicates anyone who currently has the chat window OPEN - but it doesn't at all mean they are there. Sometimes I suspect members think they're being ignored when really, no-ones at their terminal, even though they may be listed as being 'in chat'

The way the site works: the more you post on threads, the better people get to know you. Then, when they see you in chat, you're more likely to have a comfortable experience with each other.

People with PTSD are often: paranoid, insecure, quiet, guarded. It doesn't surprise me that you'll observe members being more comfortable with each other in chat when they have a history built up. That's not clique-y, it's normal community behavior.

And yes - some people develop a habit of 'camping out' in chat. You can always use the report function and let staff know. It's helpful to let us know these things.

OP: I'd suggest building your posting habits. Start a diary if you haven't. Get to know people in the Social forum, which is far more active than chat. And see how you feel in a few weeks.

I'm going to close this now, because it's garnered a wide variety of responses but has potential to turn into anonymous attacking. Closing it isn't a statement against you, OP - I hope you've found it useful.

@joeylittle
Admin

 

[Aduwi]

I know that when I go into chat sometimes no one talks to me either - people are in their conversations and it is not always possible to switch out and talk to other people I always say Hello to everyone that I see in chat but I don't always keep up with everything going on in chat - and sometimes I read back and see I missed a comment but it is not to exclude my brain was overloaded.

There are some people that come into chat to discuss the same thing over and over again - I am not going to do that. If I have spent hours talking to someone about something and they don't actually do something to help themselves then I am not doing that again. Especially when people come in and they never talk about other people only themselves.

If someone is drunk or stoned I am not going to waste my time disputing their utter crap, garbage and lies. If something is happening in chat that you don't like or think is bad for God's sake get off your butt and report it.

Plenty of new people come in and get welcomed all the time - so you are either unlucky or you are coming in on a change over of time zone between chatters and yes at those times you will probably be ignored. Because if people are at the very end of their day or the very beginning of their day they are not with it.

Also I have made an effort to PM some people that have said "I am being left out in chat" only to be asked why are you interacting with me? So if you are hostile to other people or rude to them when they try with you - yes they will give up.

Look up chat etiquette and familiarise yourself with the ways of chat.