F*ck you for making me feel this way! F*ck you! I hate feeling this way, I hate that I react this way to the simplest things! You get angry, you are an angry person, how can you not see that!? You get mad at me for "retreating", for backing off when you get frustrated with me, you tell me you hate me making you feel like you are abusing me - I can't help it. Whenever anyone gets angry at me anymore I retreat into me! It's automatic!! I can't stop it, it just happens! I tense up, I back away, I physically shield my head, I curl into a ball, I shut down! I run away from the world, I do now, I go 'away' and I don't know how to stop it.
I feel bad for it, I do but I can't speak for some time after it starts to happen - if I said what I was feeling there'd be a fight, we'd yell and scream and there is no point in yelling and screaming! I KNOW you've never hit me, I KNOW you've never attacked me purposely, don't you think I don't KNOW this - don't you think I hate that I react this way to you now????? Do you think I like making you feel bad????? F*ck You!!! :cry: