Death The Five Stages Of Grief

[anthony]

The big problem with listing these stages is that it gives the impression that acceptance is the final stage when those of us who have grieved the loss of a loved one know it doesn't end there.

Honestly, the stages can actually appear in any order, which is most likely the case you're referring to. You can also cycle through the stages because you didn't actually complete a stage to the desired level for your brain.

 

[GabrielleGrace]

Honestly, the stages can actually appear in any order, which is most likely the case you're referring to. Yo...

No, that's not what I'm referring to at all.

Processing emotional pain isn't listed in ANY of the traditional stages of grief which leads to confusion about what it means to grieve. New grievers and outsiders are confused about what it means to "accept" and wonder why there is still pain. Grievers are told to "let it go," "move on," and "suck it up" because of these stages. They go unsupported in their grief because of ignorance about acceptance. The stages don't explain how a grieving person ACTUALLY processes the pain of loss of a loved one. You can feel the pain of loss without feeling anger or depression, so which stage is hurting? The "five stages of grief" do not reflect that it still hurts and that pain needs to be processed.

I've met too many people who think there is something wrong with them that it still hurts when that is normal and should be expected. Grieving takes a lifetime, but that does not mean someone is denying, bargaining, angry, or depressed. You hurt because you still love them even if you have accepted their death so grief does not end with acceptance. You still have to process pain.

 

[anthony]

Grieving takes a lifetime

I think we may agree to disagree on that one. Grieving the loss is just that, grieving. By definition, grieving is to "feel intense sorrow."

Sorrow is defined as, "a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others."

Intense is defined as, "of extreme force, degree, or strength."

If you're still in intense sorrow after grieving, then you have not finished grieving and need therapy to assist in unresolved feelings. There is a difference in missing someone after death versus grieving for life. If you're grieving for life, then you're in intense pain. That means... unresolved feelings. That means... one of the five stages: Denial...

 

[Gadgie]

I went to a bereavement group therapy that was set for eight meetings. I never thought it would do me any good really, but was encouraged by the staff at our local Maggie's centre.

I kept really quiet at first, but as time went on, I felt more at ease, and in fact I got much more out of it than I ever thought I would.

Now, I'm on the waiting list for therapy for PTSD now, so here's hoping?