The fourteen day challenge

[intothelight]

Made it through day 1 and am definitely struggling with day 2. I am pretty down, but I don't need to be down on myself. That only makes it worse and at that point inappropriate. Sometimes I think that I hold myself to a ridiculous standard, in that I think it is some type of personal failure or deficiency when I get down or depressed.

The truth is, I have reason to feel down. Maybe that is another aspect of PTSD, where we tend to be hard on ourselves for very normal moods. Depression scares me, but maybe being "blue" is normal and I just need to go with it. Look for things that lift my spirits but not judge the feeling.

Depressed...yes. Progress...yes.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((Deb))) I rhink you have hard standards for yourself, and Mabe you have always been that way. I suspect you are a perfectionist. Perfectionists are very hard on themselves. It comes with the territory.

I hope you can find a balance between good enugh and ok just the way you are. It is a struggle but I think you will achieve it. You accomplish so much. You have alot of drive. I think that is a good thing. It is whatever gets you through. I like you fine just the way you are. Good luck with the challenge.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am on day 2. I am doing ok. It only happens sometimes that I am hard on myself. I am paying attention to how I speak to myself. The critical voice is silent for now. I hate that voice. It says the worst things about myself. But so far so good. I figure I can use the practice to keep me balanced.

 

[intothelight]

Sunday would have been day 3, but I really bombed that one. Monday was worse and finally yesterday I began to feel better about myself. I really need to keep focused on this and stop beating myself up for things that are not mine to own. I cannot "fix" anything, but I can change my own perception and thoughts about things.

So today is August 1, and today is day 1. Each day is a new beginning and a new opportunity for something better. Going to stick this out.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Deb))), rooting for you.

 

[intothelight]

Day 2 was rough. But I am not going to let having high expectations of myself be the same as beating myself up. The truth is, I will always have high expectations and that has never changed. I expect the best from myself. If I give it my best then that is all I can expect.

Being disappointed is one's ability is not bashing ourselves. It is reality. To be disappointed is normal, but to be "worthless" is not. Need to keep working on what is an appropriate feeling versus one that is blown out of proportion.

Today is day 3.

 

[GreenFrog2]

Ha! This sounds pretty good to me but I have just started a different kind of 14 day challenge:

Every evening I write for 5 minutes all the positive things that I have done / thought / said / reactions etc... The writing is mostly in reporting style so that I develop my ability to view things factually and objectively. It has been great as I am focusing on all of the positives and not just on the negative stuff.

However.......I then have to read the list out aloud to myself, which is really really hard, and I'm still struggling with this bet, but getting better at it each day.

I am on day 5, and can already see a change when I am interpreting the world on a day to day basis - just a bit more willing to see the positives and the good things that I have done. And much less inclined to be judgmental!

(I got this from a self esteem program, and the point of the exercise is to develop a positive view of myself and the way that I view the world). So far, so good!

 

[nao]

Several years ago, someone in a class I was in kept snapping a rubber band. During a break I asked her about it and she shared something similar. When she'd have a negative thought or self criticism... she'd snap the rubber band. She said it was useful for her to acknowledge the frequency of the negative thought pattern.

I did the rubber band thing. It was good, but it kinda annoyed me how red my wrist was. I think you should try it

 

[GreenFrog2]

Thanks nao :) I've got several things that I am doing at the moment, which in combination, seem to be having a very beneficial effect. Might try this version of the 14 day challenge at a later date.

 

[nao]

I hope you do. I like the rubber band thing and stick to it. It works, because I dont like that I think about stuff that much. It helps. :)

 

[safenow]

GreenFrog2, I like that exercise. I'm going to try it. I've bookmarked your number on this thread

 

[GreenFrog2]

safenow: it has been really useful for me. Even after only a few days, I think that my meditation practice, which I have been doing for a few weeks now and this activity has made it much easier for me to self-soothe whenever I get anxious. I still get upset / distressed etc... but not so severly and I am able to settle myself and find something to do much more easily that I used to.

Good luck! I hope that you also have some success, please let me know how you go!