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The journey begins ... or continues ... articulating the rollercoaster that is my life

Not a great day. Too many packets of distressing information in a small amount of time, had me losing my shit.
I'm not even in good enough shape to elaborate.
I'm alleviating my distress with a small gin and tonic and a cup of sedative herbs; chamomile, hops, passionflower and catnip.
My poor brain shat itself and I shut down for a bit, had a sleep and I'm still not in a good way, but the booze has taken the edge off.
I'm so over pf*ckingstd!
Had some horrible emotional flashback. Had some depression over my mother being incapable of showing care and love, also the fact that my energy for being social is rock bottom.
 
I have the smiley face on my phone but the other guys ain't coming up :-/.
Anyway, brains still not awesome, after a good sleep and ok dreams though.
Im off to a friend's birthday breakfast today though.
Maybe I'll be able to snap out of my shitty reverie. No I'm really not as bad as yesterday.

Yeah, today will be better, I'm sure of it.

On a much more positive not, I got down to 77.4kg the other day, two days in a row.

I went back up a bit, to 78.1 or something. I'm a bit scared to check it now as I've had a bad day, good day, bad day ( in terms of energy and doing stuff) and although I didn't eat dinner last night, I made a passionfruit (from our own garden) baked cheesecake and had some
yesterday.
I'm fitting in to clothes I haven been able to for years and my guy thinks I'm sexy:-). I do have decent curves but still a way to go on the weight loss.
Going to try Nigella seed oil with Apple cider vinegar today. I had so little appetite for AGES but it's come back a little recently, with the cold (it's our coldest month, this month ) so hopefully this weight loss tonic gets me back on more track.:-)
 

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