The Most Complicated Person I Have Ever Met

[Me Myself and I]

(You are the most complicated person I have ever met)

A sentence I keep hearing everytime I get to meet a person. Long time friends as well as people I just meet!! They higlight and stress on my so called "complication" whenver there is a chance.

I may as well be!! Actually I know I am, but I like it because it is who I am, my complication is not a choice, is not something I have built and worked on, it is simply my identity and I can't change that!! ( I don't want to CHANGE that).

Yet again this identity is scaring people away, they somewhat find it easier to run away rather than to explore and try to understand.

I am way too complicated they say!!! I always have my guard up they say!!! I don't let people close they say!!!

But I now wonder; am I actually that (bad)? Or is it just them not wanting deep inside to look and find out what's behind my sheild?

Is it them or is it me?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

The status quo walks, lives and speaks in ignorance, blindness and fear of pain and death and tragic abuse.

When my son died, I found it very strange that no one wanted to talk to me about it. Fear of death and talking about is making it real for the.

I think you are better than you think you are and not as bad as you think you are.

 

[Me Myself and I]

I am very sorry to hear about your son!! And very well understand what you say about people and their fear of discussing such things. (Which is something Very confusing) the fear of what's real and inevitable!!

I think you are better than you think you are and not as bad as you think you are.

Thank you so much.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't think anyone can say one way or another whether it is a good thing or not, as you could be a good kind of complicated or you could be a bad kind of complicated. Can you give us examples of why people say you're complicated? I don't want to blindly say "yeah, ignore them all and stay as you are!" if being complicated is preventing you from having relationships from others. If it is a bad kind of complicated, then you may want to change....but, of course, I'm not making this judgment call, and I don't think anyone here can, either.

 

[Me Myself and I]

For example; I am 24 years old and never had a relationship! I always try to avoid situations where guys would come up to me opening up about their feelings. I panic and runaway, to the point where now everyone considers me a good sister and that's it.

I have real big issues in trusting people. My friends would tell me all their secrets and problems and I wont.

When asked about my future plans and projects i'll mention loads of things but my own family for example. I am always on the defensive!

I always have different opinions and points of view to the point where people think I am doing in purpose just to (be different).

And you know, loads of other things that I don't know how to put into words really!!!

But one thing I know for sure (hopefully) my complication did never hurt anybody.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well, I am going to throw the word complicated away for the moment.

I see the avoidance as a potential problem. I see being closed off and secretive as a potential problem. I see always being defensive as a potential problem. All of these things can keep other people at a distance. Perhaps these factors are adding to the fact that you are 24 and have not been in a relationship yet? I am not trying to point fingers or lay blame, rather say that its not simply a matter of being happy with who you are if your behavior is keeping other people at a distance when you want to be closer to them. (I am guessing you want to be closer to others or else you wouldn't have mentioned being 24 and having never been in a relationship, as it would be a non-issue not worth mentioning.)

 

[Me Myself and I]

(I am guessing you want to be closer to others or else you wouldn't have mentioned being 24 and having never been in a relationship, as it would be a non-issue not worth mentioning.)

Absolutely yes, I would like to get closer to people. I mean I have no problem making friends and being a good friend too (I may listen more than I talk, and may know more about them than they know about me) but so far it is working out.

The problem is anything more than friendship, anything stronger, it automatically triggers me and puts the "problematic-complicated" mode on and ruins everything.

I just don't know how to put it in words.

Ps: sorry for the very basic English ( I am a non-native).

 

[Deleted member 26920]

I understand where you're coming from- I hear this all the time, even when I haven't told someone my whole story... which is usually the case. I hate the people who leave, but I also hate the people that consider my experiences to be "character building or say that they "make me more interesting"; or, my personal favorite, "my life is so boring compared to yours! I wish I had a cool life story like you do!" You know, that whole John Green romanticizing-bad-situations crap. I don't know which I hate more.