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The Most Unhealthy Relationship I Have Ever Had.

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Owning choosing to tell or not Rennie is your choice, yes... though that does not roll into what the other person did to you. That was their choice, not yours. Did you tell them to beat you, get rough with you, to force you to have sex? If so... sure, you have some fault and that is considered consensual, though based on your above, that is not what happened, and you weren't given a choice.

How you tell things to yourself is up to you; me personally, I like to try and tell myself the truth, because that I can use to then find something that helps soothe my mind.

Thank you, Anthony.
 
Truly awful day yesterday, I spent most of the evening in a argument with my mother - mainly about mundane things but I just couldn't find the words to express myself.

I went for a drive the the little one in the back at 5am, not getting back till 6am - very tired with just life in general.

I had a major trigger during the night the day before yesterday, the little one is sick and so is sleeping alongside me in the same bed, during the night she bumped me and I was paralyzed with fear, right back there laying in the bed naked and vulnerable with his hand inside me while he slept, with no way to escape without waking him and bring the full force of his annoyance upon myself.

Time passed so slowly, I came around crying and shaking - I HATE remembering things while she is present, it feels so wrong, as if she can read my mind and have her innocence erased.
 
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