The Never Ending Story

[anni]

(disclaimer: Any resemblance to anyone living or un-dead is completely accidental and not the responsibilty of the author, living or un-dead. )


Souls began piling out of the Rolls, as Death rolled up his sleeves and gleefully got out the old backpack. HA, FINALLY! These souls were not behaving properly, however, cowering and throwing up their arms pitifully like they generally did when rocketed so suddenly from one realm to the other. Advancing on him, these arms gesticulating in hostile fashion,waving legal papers and middle fingers was a most dreaded group, feared in any realm Death or no. Now how in hell did news travel THIS quickly? Geesh. It was friggin PETA. Thanks a LOT Mrs. Death, she HAD to have a bearskin rug,now I have to figure out how to reap a lawyer.

 

[KP the nut]

Ummm, thought Death, so many lawyers such a wide choice. Then he remembered how to find one. He went home, Mrs D made him a cuppa, he put his feet on the bear skin rug and settled back to watch daytime TV.

All he had to do was wait for the adverts. Then from all of the 'have you had an accident, make a claim' ads, he could choose his lawyer.

Mean while the sheep.........................

 

[amethist]

was running riot on the M25, causing tail back's so long no one was getting anywhere.

Death of course thought this was hilarious, one sheep causing so much mayhem. There were horns blaring, people trying to catch the sheep, one guy even had a big net, but all he caught was his own feet.

The bear though, was not happy being made into a rug, and snapped at Deaths feet at every opportunity he could. Tripping him up and laughing every time. death threatened him with the M25, which only made the bear laugh more until....

 

[amethist]

...death picked him up and threw him in the back of a truck, which was one of those caught up in the mayhem.

Death then went home and sat back in his chair to find a lawyer from one of the TV ads. "Would you credit it, not one damn advert for a lawyer on tonight" said death, so disgruntled with his lot today, he felt like giving his job to someoen else, but who......

 

[Whitneys story]

The turtle was perfect, he could not keep up but would keep them entertained while the attorney and death argued. The hare caught and warned the others they would be coming to take all the remotes....

 

[amethist]

Back at the farm it was summer, or should be, but they had 3 foot of snow over night.

Shoveler was going ballistic like a puppy who had never seen snow before, nose down and snow ploughing round the yard, the cows had stopped giving milk and the farm was in turmoil because some one let the pigs out.

Judy yelled for Peter to come and help her catch them, Peter yelled Florence to go help her mum, Florence yelled at who ever was listening. Snout hid under the table, hoping that no one would see what he was chewing on.

He had found a....

 

[amethist]

Leg of meat, though what of it is anyone's guess.

They were so busy rounding up the dogs and shut them in the barn out of the way, they had not heard the phone ringing and ringing.

Eventually Judy picked it up to hear a very irate great aunt Alice who was waiting for them at the station. She was coming to stay with them, bring uncle Benjamin with her.

That was all they needed, 3 foot of snow, chaos everywhere and now the wicked witch of the west coming to stay for who knew how long, as once she got settled there was no getting rid of her.

She screamed for Peter who was just getting his boots back on to go shovel some snow so they could go food shopping.

Peter just looked at her stunned, he hated great aunt Alice, and now he wished he were still dead.

 

[intothelight]

Great aunt Alice is at the train station and is pacing and muttering impatiently about the delay in being picked up. Uncle Benjamin is sitting on top of the luggage trying to make himself as small as possible to avoid her wrath.

Peter is now using his shovel to dig out the back wheels of the car that is hopelessly stuck on the way to the train station. It is starting to snow again, so as he shovels, more and more snow falls into the hole he is digging around the tire.

 

[JustBe]

After many fruitless hours of digging, Peter finally gives up and starts walking towards the train station. meanwhile the snow has stopped and rain begins to fall.

 

[Whitneys story]

Peter should have realized he was so close. He never looked back to see Alfonso hit the jackpot.

Only 2 shovels full more and gold nuggets were spewing into the air. They came with such force that Peters car moved out of the hole.

Peter had left his key in the ignition and the door unlocked. Alfonso filled the jeep with all the nuggets it would hold. He drove into the sunset singing.....

 

[Sandstone]

until the rear axle broke under the weight of gold, catapulting Alphonso out the the open sun-roof and straight onto the station platform and into Great Aunt Alice's arms

"my!" she said "you're...

 

[amethist]

the last person I expected to see here, I was hoping my other nephew would be here to pick me up in that nice car of his.