DID The reality of having DID for me

[Punky143]

Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, maybe not.
Changes in life that are not avoidable but can be bittersweet right? Depends on ones interpretation.
Although difficult, can still be the same person at work, appear normal.
Not us. I have 15+ parts, some are much more vocal, vary in age, and always around. When regular life stays the same, it's easy to pay attention to them.
When life's distractions (one and only child is graduating high school. The amount of energy I use to keep them under control seems impossible. Tons of feelings rolling around. In the past, we've lost jobs, friends, and decline fast and we feel it coming yet lack any type of support other than our therapist who is not part of day to day functioning.
We are proud of our daughter and she's moving forward in life. Us though - lost but a deep kind of lost.
Very unsure of the future and our purpose. Deeply depressed and alone is how we feel - magnified with the many many parts who are also feeling everything

 

[Midnightmoon]

Hearing you, I'm understanding of that place well, I'm sorry it's so hard for you all
Congratulations to your daughter

 

[OM_™]

Very unsure of the future and our purpose. Deeply depressed and alone is how we feel - magnified with the many many parts who are also feeling everything

Hi Punky143, I haven't done Parts Therapy but sometimes I feel like I'm holding it together, like I am an actor making everyone around me believe that things are OK, when in reality there are all kinds of people in my head [me!] (is that what you mean by parts?) fighting for dominance. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and MDD and taking Duloxetine just to keep my shit together. After revealing my CSA to a friend, they were flummoxed and said, "Wow, I can't believe it. You were like Buddha to me. You always gave me good advice and calmed me down."

They didn't know about the suicidal ideation that repeatedly assaulted me from the age of 12 to 68. I feel like I should be in line for an Academy Award.

The actors are still dancing.