he seems to be in denial about them and in recent communications, is making the problem about me rather than taking responsibility for his own irresponsibility and inconsistency, which I hate to say are pretty extreme and just not okay when working with survivors of extreme trauma. I was afraid that since it has gotten to that point, his supervisor wouldn't find out what the real problems are or how extreme they have become.
If his supervisor has an ounce of training in psychology, they should be able to see what's going on without the therapist fully disclosing anything. Remember, supervisors do what they do specifically because they also feel confident identifying the issues, the things that go wrong, in therapeutic relationships.
You could, if you wanted, send an email to your therapist outlining what your experience has been and ask him to share it with his supervisor. If you structure it based on his action, your interpretation, the feeling/experience that follows, and your question (i.e. am I interpreting this correctly, I'm not sure how to react to this, how can I cope with this better), it should be helpful (whether he passes it on or not).
You might feel too enmeshed right now to do that, it's really only a suggestion.
My therapist had to get supervision after working with me for about a year. He wanted feedback on whether he was 'working with me correctly'. He explained that as wanting to know if he was using the right tools the right way. I gave permission, and when I followed up, he said that he felt better having talked to the supervisor, got some confirmation that he was on the right road, and some new tools. I felt like a science experiment briefly, then got over it. I think it helped him, I'm not sure if it had an impact on me directly, but that was OK for me. I think your situation is more complicated because it's not about the therapy, it's about the interpersonal between you and he - but that's why I'm suggesting that you probably could make a contribution to the conversation, if it would give you some relief to know that you've put it out there.