Therapist - don't trust myself anymore

[NightSky]

@FauxLiz I’m sorry that you’re feeling so hopeless. (That’s how I read it anyway.) sometimes keeping your head about water is the most courageous thing you can do. Hugs if okay.

 

[Justmehere]

I’ve hoped for a medical problem to take me out of this life. It takes a lot of pain to get that point. :hug:

A friend of mine had a complicated relationship with her father. He wasn’t a great guy (unlike you.) She spent most of her time with other family. Then he took his own life. It wrecked her. 17 years later, she is a mess every holiday season. It’s not about modeling anything for her. It’s that the loss of a parent through suicide wrecks people. My cousin lost her estranged sister to suicide 12 years ago. She’s not over it. I lost a roommate, not even a family member, to suicide 5 years ago. I’m not over it.

I can’t think of one person who experienced an improved life because someone else died by suicide. It just doesn’t work that way. It leads to messy complicated grief for years and years.

Does that reality eliminate the suicidal thoughts and the pain that drives them? Well, no, probably not. But it’s not true that others lives would be improved with you gone. Others are better off with you (and me) in existence, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

 

[Abstract]

I hope you know that everyone here has been so helpful and supportive here since I joined thank yo

You deserve kindness and support.