Therapist hasn’t responded to last few texts

[Charbella]

. I’m only contacting her as instructed. Not crossing boundaries. She said I can reach out for help.

I completely agree. You are not crossing a boundary. But it would help to clarify since they aren’t answering.

I’m glad you next session is soon. Good job attempting to reach out!

 

[Erin1523]

Next week doesn’t feel soon at all when I’m feeling this way.

 

[Friday]

Next week doesn’t feel soon at all when I’m feeling this way.

No future, and no past… is a thing with both survival-mode & PTSD.

It reeeeeeally doesn’t work in normal life, though.

 

[Movingforward10]

No future, and no past… is a thing with both survival-mode & PTSD.

It reeeeeeally doesn’t work in normal life, though.

That's such a helpful thing to highlight. (Helpful to me anyways!).
The feelings, the fear, the unbearable nature is all consuming and 'now'.

@Erin1523 , if you feel unsafe re self harming, would asking for an earlier appointment help?
If that isn't possible (either because you don't want to contact T again or they aren't available), what do you think you need to get through the week ? (Other than T reading and responding to you).
Is there a crisis line that might help?
Grounding techniques?
Ways to counter balance any cognitive distortions (like the feelings of rejection etc)?

It's really horrible being in the emotional space you are in and with the uncertainty of why she hasn't read and responded to you. I get myself in a massive challenging state with things like that and it's hard to talk myself back down. But trying as hard as you can to see it from a different angle, just a slight shift in perspective, can give you a lot of relief.

 

[Erin1523]

I have found the crisis lines to be useless, in my personal experience. I don’t want to ask for a sooner session because for whatever reason she’s not even reading my texts. Can’t take the hurt of reaching out yet again.

 

[osiris]

I don’t want to ask for a sooner session because for whatever reason she’s not even reading my texts. Can’t take the hurt of reaching out yet again.

It sounds like it feels scary to reach out, but I think Sideways mentioned trying to get an earlier apppintment too.

Reaching out to see them in person may well get a different response, and at this point it sounds like you need to talk sooner than next week.

If you’re worried that they are not reading texts could you call/email for an appointment?

 

[Erin1523]

I see she read it. I’m not reaching out for a sooner appt. Honestly I’d rather just self harm than be this burden on her.

 

[Charbella]

I see she read it. I’m not reaching out for a sooner appt. Honestly I’d rather just self harm than be this burden on her.

Are you sure you want to self harm? How are you going to feel after you’ve done it? Will there be regret? Will you then have to explain it to your T? How’s that going to feel? What other options do you have?

 

[Movingforward10]

I see she read it. I’m not reaching out for a sooner appt. Honestly I’d rather just self harm than be this burden on her.

You're not a burden on her. That is a cognitive distortion.
I do this all the time.
Do you have childhood relational trauma? Because it sounds as though these deep hurts (feeling you are a burden and feelings of rejection and abandonment) are from the past and not now.
She hasn't shown or said that you are a burden. But perhaps people in your past did?

I hope some of your usual tools to prevent or reduce self harm you can use right now.

Sitting with you.

 

[Erin1523]

I’m just having a lot of flashbacks to past abandonment and rejection and it feels like too much really

There’s eventually regret when I self harm but it’s too hard for me to carry this alone

 

[OliveJewel]

You are not a burden to your T. That is mind-reading. Yes, I do it too. It’s a way for you to feel control over her and the situation. I know you said the crisis line is pointless but nowadays you can call crisis lines all over the place! You are not limited to the one in your city. And further, often it’s just one unhelpful individual, not the whole crew.

Here is a website that has a long list of online resources for survivors. If you live in USA you can text 741741 for chat support.

Sorry you are in the grinder. I think your T will be proud of you when you make efforts to utilize resources when she is unavailable. There are so many reasons that she’s not responding which you aren’t considering. Again, totally understandable, but dwelling in the thought that you are a burden might hurt more than help you.

 

[Charbella]

There’s eventually regret when I self harm but it’s too hard for me to carry this alone

I’m truly sorry your in the thick of it. is there something that has worked for you in the past when you feel on edge? Any friends you might call, just to chat and get your mind off it? Maybe go see a movie?

this might sound odd but when I’m there I like to research reasons my brain does the things it does. I’ve probably read as many scholarly articles as my therapist has, books too.