My name is Richard Griswold. My therapist raised the idea for the first time today that I probably suffer from PTSD. I've been doing my research online and it would appear that it's a real possibility.
I suffered emotional and physical trauma by my father growing up from about the age of nine and for many years after. I recall having many flashbacks and worries that I would have to fight my father and/or run away from home forever. I have difficulty remembering the events that transpired to create this fear but I remember the fear well.
For years after I got my driver's license, I would leave home before my father would arrive and not return home until I was sure he was asleep, often two or four o'clock in the morning. In fact, the first year I was able to drive I put 78,000 miles on my parents' car driving around the county just to not go home.
I can't sleep, and when I do, I rarely ever feel rested, I get flashbacks, I don't feel anything, and I could never keep a job. At present, I'm on disability for bipolar disorder.
Mental illness is hardly new for me. I also have major depression, ADHD, borderline personality disorder (with cluster B traits), narcissistic personality disorder (with cluster B traits), and now this. I feel like alphabet soup. The bipolar disorder, major depression, and ADHD were the result of five weeks in a coma as a result of severe acute measles/encephalitis and cerebral edema I experienced when I was nine. I ran a fever of 106.2F. Life completely changed for me then and it's been an uphill climb ever since. The rest I can chalk up to my upbringing and a lack of an affirmative, nurturing family environment.
I'm working with a gifted therapist and trying to move on with my life. I'm feeling really depressed about the new diagnosis and could use some support. Looking back, I may be in my fourth decade with this and never knew. I'm just tired of being mentally ill. When does the good part start?
Rich
I suffered emotional and physical trauma by my father growing up from about the age of nine and for many years after. I recall having many flashbacks and worries that I would have to fight my father and/or run away from home forever. I have difficulty remembering the events that transpired to create this fear but I remember the fear well.
For years after I got my driver's license, I would leave home before my father would arrive and not return home until I was sure he was asleep, often two or four o'clock in the morning. In fact, the first year I was able to drive I put 78,000 miles on my parents' car driving around the county just to not go home.
I can't sleep, and when I do, I rarely ever feel rested, I get flashbacks, I don't feel anything, and I could never keep a job. At present, I'm on disability for bipolar disorder.
Mental illness is hardly new for me. I also have major depression, ADHD, borderline personality disorder (with cluster B traits), narcissistic personality disorder (with cluster B traits), and now this. I feel like alphabet soup. The bipolar disorder, major depression, and ADHD were the result of five weeks in a coma as a result of severe acute measles/encephalitis and cerebral edema I experienced when I was nine. I ran a fever of 106.2F. Life completely changed for me then and it's been an uphill climb ever since. The rest I can chalk up to my upbringing and a lack of an affirmative, nurturing family environment.
I'm working with a gifted therapist and trying to move on with my life. I'm feeling really depressed about the new diagnosis and could use some support. Looking back, I may be in my fourth decade with this and never knew. I'm just tired of being mentally ill. When does the good part start?
Rich
