Therapist said dissociation increases aggression

[lostforgottensoul]

Would you say anything?

I personally wouldn't. Why? She's not a trauma specialist and literally has no idea what she's talking about. In my opinion anyway. Disocciation, in my world, is floating off to outter space(s of my mind). Aggression? When disocciated? Nah! Wouldn't happen. Even when I had blind rage explosions, I wasn't disocciated. I guess you could call it that since they were "blind" and I had no idea what I was doing till it was over but that's totally different in my mind. Caused by different things. Even way different emotions involved. Like two different planets. Apples and oranges. I mean, where do you go with a convo like that? You could, I guess, connect the two in a way but in another way they are totally different.

Like, I dunno. I'm just rambling now. Not sure if I even made any sense.

 

[Justmehere]

The one thing I really wanted in a therapist right now was someone who could not fall into the hammer/nail trap. I didn't know she had testified as an anger "expert" in court until recently. Damn it. I think I'm planning on just letting it be, unless it keeps coming up, and then asking her to explain more how she has drawn that conclusion... but otherwise focusing on what limited stuff I need from her and continuing to find the right option for me.

 

[Sideways]

I think I'm planning on just letting it be, unless it keeps coming up

This sounds really smart.

Atm? We’re scrutinising one brief comment. It may have been nothing more than a brain fart. It may be that, as an anger expert, she does see people who have this problem.

But it isn’t your problem. So, hopefully the issue turns out to be a non-issue. You’ve had some seriously bad luck when it comes to Ts, so it makes sense that you’re on alert for potential red flags. But it is just one comment...so far!

 

[Orange Phone]

Well, knowing me, I'd ask for the research info to show it.. but that is just me.

Blanket statements like this from "professionals" irritates me...

 

[Justmehere]

There have been other comments about other things with trauma and PTSD that have been a little off. But then again, she has also validated and gone through rules of ethics and etc about my past therapist, and all that seems sketch.

Abuser contacted me and she said my problem was that I feel victimized and perceive them as an abuser. (Or couldn’t the problem be that the abuser contacted me after I said stop clearly and got a court order? I mean. Ugh.) She was focusing on “finding power and control,” and what I have power and control over: how I feel... which is ok... but... it made me cringe to hear she thought my problem was only that I see my abuser as an abuser and told me I need to “work on not feeling victimized.” I’m not sure how I’m doing anything to feel victimized... I hate the word victim and i don’t really think of myself as victim. I don’t know. Granted, she doesn't know the trauma history. I don’t want to go there. She said that was ok. She thought it was just a matter of unwanted contact. But is that grounds to start implying I feel victimized too easily?

Every trauma therapist who has known the trauma history says I blame myself too much... and this therapist too... so I’m lost. Totally lost.

It probably doesn't work to do much therapy and say you have already been told you have PTSD and then not describe any of the trauma.

Why am I trying to do therapy again?

I’ve been striking out with therapist after therapist. After we sort out insurance issues, or at the end of the month, I think I’m going to take a break from therapy again even if I haven’t found someone else.

I need a therapist who is good at ethics and psych 101.

 

[Ronin]

Why am I trying to do therapy again?

Because you are incredibly brave & working on bettering everything all of the time,
& Because they can’t be all there is to it.

There will be better someone, out there.

Though yeah, hear your frustration clear.

 

[Sideways]

I would kneejerk react, most likely with a fair bit of anger, if my T reflected back to me that I’m feeling victimised, and I’m perceiving this person as “my abuser”. Totally get that.

But...

She was focusing on “finding power and control,” and what I have power and control over

Isn’t this, like...a reeeeeally good idea?

I don’t know your story. But just as an observation, there seems to have been quite a few of occasions where:
You’ve stated what your need, or where your boundaries are;
That’s been ignored, or challenged; And
That has become the point of no return for you, and it becomes all out war...

Maybe that’s all pure projection. And I think that you always seem pretty rational, and react to things in an extremely patient and level-headed way...

But, if she’s proposing that there might be an alternative mindset that might be more productive or helpful for you, or cause less distress - a mindset based on feeling empowered rather than threatened - maybe there’s something to that worth considering.

Oftentimes in therapy, there’s 2 linked statements that my T gives me, and the first one makes me feel uncomfortable, so I don’t give enough time to the second part of the statement...which isn’t helpful. And probably, my reaction is a sign that my t has just hit on an area that maybe I could really challenge and change...

ETA I guess what I’m saying is, while it makes sense that you’re wary about incompetent Ts, keep in mind that no T is perfect, and none of them are mind readers.

This is a new T, and she doesn’t have much to go on. You’ve decided to not offer details of your trauma background, which is going to make her job difficult.

If you approach therapy as “Are there any comments that don’t apply or make sense?” You’re going to find them. All over the place. The question isn’t “Can I demonstrate that statement is stupid” (that’s not going to be hard - with any T), it’s “Is there anything here that might help me”.

 

[Justmehere]

We have both agreed to not get into the trauma history... I could get into trauma history... but unless a therapist is pretty unshakable with trauma, it hasn’t ever really worked out well. I’m completely uninterested and unmotivated to talk about the trauma. It does hinder the process, but, I just am not in the place to do it again right now.

I think you are spot on with focusing on what is helpful. From that angle, she is offering a bit of accountability with life goals, help with insurance issues, and re-working some pretty negative self-talk. So for now, I’m going to keep skipping over the weird for this short season of working together and stick to focusing on what’s helpful.

 

[hithere]

Dissociation for me makes me silent when I should not be. My ptsd t told me it sets me up for more danger and I have to agree lookiing back over my life. That's a weird statement and I'm the kind of person who would say, I'd love to read the study or the article on that.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Well I personally do not get more aggressive, quieter actually...

Ditto that @Teamwork ! I decide upon my flavor of dissociation( art, music, poetry, or emergency- or it grabs me if I’m having an anxiety attack) and I get hyper focused and the rest of the world doesn’t exist. Dissociation is one effective way of escaping others drama.

 

[TraumaMama]

That’s weird. I definitely don’t feel more aggressive...

 

[The Albatross]

I can be more assertive/aggressive. Depends a whole lot on the circumstances and level of safety I place on it... or the importance. Guess I'm the odd duck here as far as respondents go.