Therapist used to act more loving

[Erin1523]

My therapist has touched my arm on occasion and once offered me a hug. However she hasn’t done either of those in months and it’s eating away at me. But I am terrified to bring it up to her. I also feel like if I ask for it, then if she does it it won’t be genuine.

 

[whiteraven]

Welcome, @Erin1523.

I have been doing online therapy for going on 3 years now, so I really miss the hugs, but my therapist has also pulled back in other ways. Wondering if you notice any other differences?

 

[Friday]

The pandemic has changed a lot of peoples social distancing, especially in the workplace, where even being too close to someone can result in big bad juju… never mind touching them.

All it would take is one complaint, or threat of legal action, by a client to change a therapists entire mode of interacting with everyone they see. Much less threat of divorce by a spouse, a sick kid or relative with a compromised immune system at home, losing someone to the pandemic, or even just a wake-up moment of disapproval of one’s peers at a dinner party (You do WHAT?!? Are you trying to get reported, lose your license, or go to jail?!?)

Meaning, for my money, occams razor says 6.5 million dead people are the most likely source of the change.

Why later rather than earlier? Or no elbow bump dance, or shoe shazaam? Couldn’t say. Half my fam is in healthcare &/or research, so we switched to universal precautions and stripping naked in the garage (clothes in the machine, decontam shower before entering the house) as soon as it hit. A lot of people had to have something personal hit before they made changes.

Of course, that may not be the reason, it’s just the most common one, at present. No way to know for sure without asking the person themselves.

 

[Movingforward10]

I've found that when I have made an assumption about why my T has or hasn't done something, I am usually way way off track and make it worse for myself. I. E I am worrying about something that isn't even a thing to worry about.
.so , most likely there is a very simple and helpful reason from your T.
You are holding meaning to it where there may be none.

If you do feel able to talk to your T about it, you might get a lot of relief from the pain you are feeling. And also, more awareness about how you hold these things. It might all get much easier.

 

[arfie]

sounds like prime material to bring up with her. in my early days of therapy, expecting people to be able to read my mind to **know** what i want/need was one of my meanest psychoticks. that tick lead me to make some ridiculous assumptions on why my relationships were so ungratifying. it also led to ridiculous projections and conjectures on why **they** did or did not behave the way i thought they should. learning how to replace mind reading with direct questions was a therapy breakthrough for me.

 

[Skywatcher]

My therapist gave up touch during the pandemic and it had been such a huge part of my therapy. (Learning hugs). I missed them. I thought she would bring it back, I asked her about it and she said that she isn’t. This led to a huge breakdown for me. We did a session on it and I cried through the entire 50 minutes. I feel better about it now and the trauma/core belief triggers are much improved and I am ok.