barefoot
MyPTSD Pro
Posting this for two reasons really…
1) I’m curious about what cancellation policy your T has and how/when they have communicated their T&Cs to you.
2) I’d appreciate any thoughts about a situation I find myself in with my T currently. More info on that below!
We’ve worked together almost 8 years. I had to cancel my last session as I was unwell. Unfortunately, it was a very short notice cancellation (90 mins before we were due to meet online) as it was a sudden onset thing…I was actually throwing up, sick as a dog by the time we were supposed to be in session. I felt awful about cancelling at such short notice - I hate messing people (including her) around and completely understand the inconvenience it can cause. As soon as I started feeling unwell, I messaged her to let her know, apologised profusely, told her what was happening. I didn’t get a reply but figured she must have seen my text otherwise she would have texted me when she discovered I wasn’t on our session call.
Next day, I got an email from her, invoicing me for the previous day’s session because it was short notice and she was unable to fill the slot with another client.
As I say, I totally get that it’s very inconvenient to cancel last minute, especially as you miss out on money as you can’t take on another client instead at short notice. This happens with me in my work, so I know it’s inconvenient and sometimes very frustrating and annoying!
I also get that it’s very common to charge half or full fee for no shows/late cancellations. I have Ts&Cs/a cancellation policy in place for this with my own business, and I enforce it in particular with repeat offenders who regularly don’t turn up/cancel last minute.
The thing is, in eight years, my T has never shared any Ts & Cs with me. She’s never told me what her cancellation policy is. I don’t cancel very often (she had told me before that I’m one of her most reliable clients) but, if I do, it’s always for a good reason (illness etc), I always give her as much notice as possible, and I always sincerely apologise and acknowledge the inconvenience. She has always been fine and flexible with these things and has never once let me know that there is even a possibility that I might be charged if I cancel a session.
So, her way of letting me know that is to send me an invoice for the full session amount the day after I cancelled because I was throwing up.
To be clear: I’m fine with her having whatever cancellation policy she wants to run her business with. And if she’s decided suddenly to change her approach and adopt this new policy, that’s fine too. Totally her right.
But the thing I am feeling rattled by and am having a hard time getting to feeling ok about is that I really believe Ts&Cs, including cancellation policies, should be shared upfront before you want to enforce them. Letting me know after the event by just hitting me with a email with a bill attached the day after, when it hasn’t come up at all - even as something that could be a possibility - in eight years just feels very…well…it has landed very badly. I feel upset and angry about how she’s gone about it.
I’ve emailed her to let her know how taken aback I am and how I wish she’d have let me know this was now her policy in advance rather than letting me know by invoicing me. She hasn’t replied. Based on previous ruptures, I doubt she will. We’ll both play the waiting game and, ultimately, I will have to be the one who ‘cracks’ and contacts her to book another appointment.
I haven’t yet paid the invoice and didn’t make reference to whether I would pay it or not in my email. I guess I am hoping that she might decide to waive it this time. But I don’t know. Any thoughts? Would you pay it now?
Or have no intention of paying it? Or want to talk to her about first? Or…???
I don’t really know what to do at this point. We have been going well relationship-wise and have been digging in to difficult work that I find incredibly painful and excruciating, so we’ve sort of been hanging in there together on that as I make some tediously slow progress processing some old stuff.
But this happening out of the blue has just really blindsided me. And whether she says she’ll waive the fee or not (I’m not expecting her to) I’m not really sure where we go from here and how we pick that work back up. I feel that trust has been damaged a bit as her invoicing for a cancelled session when she had never once mentioned that that could be a possibility just feels like she’s not been transparent and straightforward. And that doesn’t sit well with me. And has surprised me. And makes her less trustworthy.
What would you do in my situation? About next step? About whether/when to pay this invoice?
And, as mentioned at the start, I’d be interested to know if your Ts have been clear about this stuff with you and, if so, how did they share it with you? Did any of you sign contracts? Have to fill in intake forms? Have to informerly or formerly accept their Ts&Cs before starting work together.
I guess I am also quite hoping for some reassurance that this is a weird, not ideal thing for her to have done this way and that it’s ok that I feel bothered by it! But, if you think the situation’s very ok and don’t see why I would be bothered at all, I guess that could be useful for me to know too!
1) I’m curious about what cancellation policy your T has and how/when they have communicated their T&Cs to you.
2) I’d appreciate any thoughts about a situation I find myself in with my T currently. More info on that below!
We’ve worked together almost 8 years. I had to cancel my last session as I was unwell. Unfortunately, it was a very short notice cancellation (90 mins before we were due to meet online) as it was a sudden onset thing…I was actually throwing up, sick as a dog by the time we were supposed to be in session. I felt awful about cancelling at such short notice - I hate messing people (including her) around and completely understand the inconvenience it can cause. As soon as I started feeling unwell, I messaged her to let her know, apologised profusely, told her what was happening. I didn’t get a reply but figured she must have seen my text otherwise she would have texted me when she discovered I wasn’t on our session call.
Next day, I got an email from her, invoicing me for the previous day’s session because it was short notice and she was unable to fill the slot with another client.
As I say, I totally get that it’s very inconvenient to cancel last minute, especially as you miss out on money as you can’t take on another client instead at short notice. This happens with me in my work, so I know it’s inconvenient and sometimes very frustrating and annoying!
I also get that it’s very common to charge half or full fee for no shows/late cancellations. I have Ts&Cs/a cancellation policy in place for this with my own business, and I enforce it in particular with repeat offenders who regularly don’t turn up/cancel last minute.
The thing is, in eight years, my T has never shared any Ts & Cs with me. She’s never told me what her cancellation policy is. I don’t cancel very often (she had told me before that I’m one of her most reliable clients) but, if I do, it’s always for a good reason (illness etc), I always give her as much notice as possible, and I always sincerely apologise and acknowledge the inconvenience. She has always been fine and flexible with these things and has never once let me know that there is even a possibility that I might be charged if I cancel a session.
So, her way of letting me know that is to send me an invoice for the full session amount the day after I cancelled because I was throwing up.
To be clear: I’m fine with her having whatever cancellation policy she wants to run her business with. And if she’s decided suddenly to change her approach and adopt this new policy, that’s fine too. Totally her right.
But the thing I am feeling rattled by and am having a hard time getting to feeling ok about is that I really believe Ts&Cs, including cancellation policies, should be shared upfront before you want to enforce them. Letting me know after the event by just hitting me with a email with a bill attached the day after, when it hasn’t come up at all - even as something that could be a possibility - in eight years just feels very…well…it has landed very badly. I feel upset and angry about how she’s gone about it.
I’ve emailed her to let her know how taken aback I am and how I wish she’d have let me know this was now her policy in advance rather than letting me know by invoicing me. She hasn’t replied. Based on previous ruptures, I doubt she will. We’ll both play the waiting game and, ultimately, I will have to be the one who ‘cracks’ and contacts her to book another appointment.
I haven’t yet paid the invoice and didn’t make reference to whether I would pay it or not in my email. I guess I am hoping that she might decide to waive it this time. But I don’t know. Any thoughts? Would you pay it now?
Or have no intention of paying it? Or want to talk to her about first? Or…???
I don’t really know what to do at this point. We have been going well relationship-wise and have been digging in to difficult work that I find incredibly painful and excruciating, so we’ve sort of been hanging in there together on that as I make some tediously slow progress processing some old stuff.
But this happening out of the blue has just really blindsided me. And whether she says she’ll waive the fee or not (I’m not expecting her to) I’m not really sure where we go from here and how we pick that work back up. I feel that trust has been damaged a bit as her invoicing for a cancelled session when she had never once mentioned that that could be a possibility just feels like she’s not been transparent and straightforward. And that doesn’t sit well with me. And has surprised me. And makes her less trustworthy.
What would you do in my situation? About next step? About whether/when to pay this invoice?
And, as mentioned at the start, I’d be interested to know if your Ts have been clear about this stuff with you and, if so, how did they share it with you? Did any of you sign contracts? Have to fill in intake forms? Have to informerly or formerly accept their Ts&Cs before starting work together.
I guess I am also quite hoping for some reassurance that this is a weird, not ideal thing for her to have done this way and that it’s ok that I feel bothered by it! But, if you think the situation’s very ok and don’t see why I would be bothered at all, I guess that could be useful for me to know too!