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They Burnt Holes In My Soul !

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Canticle

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In case you did not know something very important about me:

I am a survivor; I never give up no matter how deep the wound or despairing the pain. I not only pick my broken self up; I lend a helping hand to others that have fallen down.

I never quit a job unless I was promoted or career stepping. I have never been fired from a job. I worked my way up the corporate ladder working my ass off for the company man. They gave me the tuff jobs and full authority to get it done. I made it happen no matter how long or hard the job. I ran very big and high profile jobs and was highly respected by all those that I supervised. I always led the way and set the pace; with a relentless and possitive attitude.

I am old school; I believe that trust is paramount in a relationship. My entire paycheck is handed over to the one I love and serves the purpose of supporting the family. I was paid handsomely for my hard work and get er done skills. Regardless, I had little for me. Worn down rags for cloths, holes in my socks and empty pockets. It hurts like hell when you see through the lies and realize that your love is lost or in vain.

Hell I aint no quiter, so I kept on keeping on down that lonely road. I built two homes along the way with my two hands. I aquired two colledge degrees along the way. I gave it my all and I worked my ass off for the company man at the same time.

So you see; when life kept right on keeping on knocking me down and burning holes in my soul, I just kept right doing what I do.

I had a breaking point, unfortunately for me and those that I love dearly. My breaking point was the apathy of those I let get to close to my soul. My wounds underneath all my strength never healed. So my trigger is devastating and debilitating. I am not a quiter; I am just trying to calm my storrm and catch my breath.

Hell I never met my match when I flame on; but, my fire belongs to me. Time for me to slow my flow and let love rule one heart beat at a time !
 
Apologies. I have always had this old soul way of expressing myself. Lol, I am either jibber jabbering goof ball bubblies, he of few words, or wispering deep, deep down. Thank you for sharing!
 
I had a breaking point, unfortunately for me and those that I love dearly.
The realization I have finally come to is that I need to embrace that which supports me and let go of that which does not. If it is a person (people) the can work with the appropriate support to develop themselves to the point where they are supportive of who I am and not ripping me to shreds.

I have been quite strong putting up with a lot of other people's shit. NO MORE! It only hurts me deep inside to not put my foot down and protect myself. When we look at reaction patterns which are you: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Transform. My pattern had been freeze but I am now committed to choosing a transform reaction pattern.

I am working very hard to make choices early on which support me to be on the transform path.
 
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