I'm in the process of figuring out if I want to be here when my ex returns from overseas. We have been broken up for a little while now but we've continued to see how things would go. During the time we've been broken up, I know he was with other women. That wouldn't bother me too much if he wouldn't have been saying otherwise. I know that if you're broken up that you are free to do what you want to do. But, when you ask for ground rules (like he did) and then you break them, well that's enough grounds for me to leave.
The only reason I'm even thinking about what a future for us would be like is because he came to me, saying he was sorry and that he was going to try to be better and follow his Christian faith and that he realize how badly he'd behaved. I'm not a saint...I've lied, I've let him believe that I had interest in other men, and was incredibly disrespectful to him at times. I was undiagnosed bipolar before and now I'm on meds and doing much better.
I've written about him before and talked about his shortcomings. It's only right to talk about mine as well. The issue is that now that I'm better, I realize that I just don't trust him. I'm stabilized now and unless he gets help when he comes back, I'm wasting my time even thinking about sticking around. I'm in therapy now and working through some of my issues. But, I can't shake that all the stuff that happened before. While I do love him, it's not enough to stay if i don't trust him. And with him being gone, I can't fathom how we can work on that issue.
Has anyone worked that out while their significant other has been gone?
Also, I titled the post "This maybe be extreme but..." because I'm frustrated and at the point where I'm thinking it may come to me completely shutting him out due to things that I can't get over from the past. Argh!!!! He apologized...but things haven't changed for me in my mind. He still has people on his Facebook page who trigger certain feelings in me. I've asked him to consider removing them and he said he understood, yet there he hasn't removed them. But, I can't even say that I've been all saintly because I definitely haven't. But, I have gone the extra mile to change and show him proof of the change by removing folks from my Facebook. I know I will have to let time pass before some things happen. I'm just frustrated...that's all :unsure:
He's willing to try...I think I just need to talk to my therapist and get this stuff out of me and get a plan to move forward.
I don't even think there's anything I want from the community. Just thanks for listening.
The only reason I'm even thinking about what a future for us would be like is because he came to me, saying he was sorry and that he was going to try to be better and follow his Christian faith and that he realize how badly he'd behaved. I'm not a saint...I've lied, I've let him believe that I had interest in other men, and was incredibly disrespectful to him at times. I was undiagnosed bipolar before and now I'm on meds and doing much better.
I've written about him before and talked about his shortcomings. It's only right to talk about mine as well. The issue is that now that I'm better, I realize that I just don't trust him. I'm stabilized now and unless he gets help when he comes back, I'm wasting my time even thinking about sticking around. I'm in therapy now and working through some of my issues. But, I can't shake that all the stuff that happened before. While I do love him, it's not enough to stay if i don't trust him. And with him being gone, I can't fathom how we can work on that issue.
Has anyone worked that out while their significant other has been gone?
Also, I titled the post "This maybe be extreme but..." because I'm frustrated and at the point where I'm thinking it may come to me completely shutting him out due to things that I can't get over from the past. Argh!!!! He apologized...but things haven't changed for me in my mind. He still has people on his Facebook page who trigger certain feelings in me. I've asked him to consider removing them and he said he understood, yet there he hasn't removed them. But, I can't even say that I've been all saintly because I definitely haven't. But, I have gone the extra mile to change and show him proof of the change by removing folks from my Facebook. I know I will have to let time pass before some things happen. I'm just frustrated...that's all :unsure:
He's willing to try...I think I just need to talk to my therapist and get this stuff out of me and get a plan to move forward.
I don't even think there's anything I want from the community. Just thanks for listening.
