Thought I Had A Carer For A Second.....

[Tiger Kitten]

The job was ending soon anyway, Albatross :) Don't worry too much.

Okradlak, Staying with your sister for a bit to calm down and get your head on straight sounds like a great plan. There are ways to get help even when you aren't suicidal. I can't remember the thing... it's either 411 or 611... You could check and see if that's available in your area... has a lot of info about getting help. I'm under too much stress right now to remember it. I guess I could open a tab and look it up. OK... It's 211. I'm stressed out and tired so my thoughts are a jumble. Sorry if I was confusing. Hope that helps though. Good luck.

Tiger

 

[OKRADLAK]

I need help. That is all I have to say. I am OK but going for some serious help. My aunt will commit me if she must. Worse case scenerio almost:(

I cannot even spell. I will post when I can. Bad bad bad..............

 

[ISupportHer]

A relapse is not a failure. It's human.

Absolutely agree. Many things are hard in life and are up and down. OMG, PTSD is on that list for sure!

ISH

 

[freakofnurture]

I need help. That is all I have to say. I am OK but going for some serious help.

Getting help is a great idea. You're working so hard right now :)

 

[OKRADLAK]

Thank you, FON. I really am. I went to the ER and then to another T., and now I am back home because I live in a country with crappy health care, BUT things are better because I went and demanded help! I am without a regular T., but am going to be staying in a place with better chances at care.

GRRRRRR.

One thing I can say is that I simply refuse to give up. I should put that in 100 things I like about myself. I am incapable of giving up....!!!

 

[Emilie]

I understand this. I was in almost the same position.

It's not wrong to want to be loved, and feel worthy of someone. What's wrong is how you are doing it! He is only going to temporarily meet your needs...if true intention is not there from him it's never going to be.

You are a special person, who doesn't need someone else to fill that void. In fact, it's really not going to help at all. At some point, the things he's doing will not meet all of your needs and you'll be stuck in a self-harming relationship. Thinking "He's giving me all I need" one moment and then thinking "What the hell am I thinking this man is crazy!" the next.

Imo, you should take some time off from dating, no matter how tempting, to work solely on yourself and your self esteem. The better you feel about yourself the more likely you are going to find the right person.

 

[freakofnurture]

One thing I can say is that I simply refuse to give up. I should put that in 100 things I like about myself. I am incapable of giving up....!!!

I like that about you, too :)

Seeing you, how you just keep going and going and going is really helpful for me. I'm trying to do the same. Not letting myself get distracted by bad ideas. Just keep going straight ahead down the life road. F*ck the bushes, f*ck the big bad wolf, I'm marching on and they won't get me.

 

[petalissimo]

Hi everyone, i just had a read of all this. it's the first thing I read. i am amazed at how insightful you all are. It is a relief to hear of other women who end up in these entanglements. I think, with attraction, you can sort of say "Yeh, I really like your exuberance, or your joy, or your sexual attention etc, " But when there is a red flag there, just really really acknowledge it. And then say, " I can find the same exuberance, joy, and sexual attention from a more healthy man." And just own what you like about him, but let him go, especially if he really is a bit on the sick side. You don't need it.

I have an attraction to someone like this. I just left a relationship, and realise that the attraction for this other man is very strong, yet I am glad to pause, and reflect for a change, instead of allowing him into my existance, (or my bed!)

 

[OKRADLAK]

Amen, Peta! I am leaving the whole area soon! :D