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Thought I was doing better

  • Thread starter whenwillthisend
  • Start date
Hopefully not 6 different types of psychotropics! (If that’s the case, sometimes that’s how it ends up) then you’re essentially on a gamble of “does this work, for this individual”, but there are no actual studies that will clarify how those 6 drugs interact.

I’ve tried a lot of different psychotropics (about 25), and a lot of different combinations of psychotropics. We did finally get there with a combination that helps me immensely (one a-typical antidepressant, and one anti-psychotic). But there was a lot of trial and error, and several times where it seemed a drug might be helping, but then it became apparent it really wasn’t doing much when my mood stability was really tested.

If you haven’t already, you can now do a genetic test specifically to assess how psychotropic meds will be metabolised by your system. That helps rule out drugs that are likely to be unhelpful, or simply bring a crap load of side effects with no real gain. That was really helpful for me.

It’s not a quick process to change meds. It means titrating off stuff, then the 6 week wait to see if the new one works. You can bring that down to closer to a 2-3 week turnaround if you can just go inpatient for a few weeks and do it under supervision, which is how I did my meds testing.

Good psychotropics can make life completely different. And with just one or 2 (rather than 6), it’s a lot easier to modify your dose over time depending on whether your mood needs more or less support. But it does sound like your cocktail isn’t working for you right now, and it may be worth a conversation with the prescriber, or seeking a second opinion (I did that multiple times - it was always a worthwhile exercise).
It’s such a process, trying to figure meds out. It was much simpler when I was inpatient. Right now I’m trying to function in the real world and be a decent father and trying to give the meds a chance and do my therapy and all the other things I know I am supposed to be doing and not kill myself . My psychiatrist at home doesn’t agree with the meds I’m on which were prescribed at the inpatient facility , but also doesn’t want to change what I’m on. It’s all so frustrating
 
In the state I’m in right now, I don’t think I care anymore. Give me all the drugs I don’t care if I am a different person or they have horrible side effects. I’m tired of feeling , tired of everything.
 
Been there. Have a source? Or are you headed to the nearest ER/ED/A&E?
I have to wait till my next appointment which is a few weeks away. At points I feel like I am counting the minutes just trying to make it, telling my self that my kids are worth it and they wouldn’t want me to kill my self.
 
Today has been hard, I feel like I am walking on egg shells, like everything I do is a mistake and or it disappoints the ones I love. I want to fix everything, but I keep f#%+ing it up. I hurt , I want to disappear but I know it would hurt my kids even worse. I feel trapped.
 
It continues , the hopelessness, sadness, anxiety, feeling worthless. I’m still taking my meds that don’t seem to make any difference and now I am back to not sleeping .I tried to get into the Dr to see about trying new meds but that is a month and a half away. I’m off work which is good but also bad. I don’t feel like I have any sense of purpose without work. I’m going to therapy and trying to do the things I am supposed to do but nothing is getting any better. In fact I think I feel worse now than I have in a long time. When does it get better ? Or is this my life now ? I don’t know if I can do this
 
I don’t know if anyone reads these anymore, I guess it doesn’t matter. Tonight’s argument with my wife totally destroyed me. There is no hope for our relationship, I wish it were different but it’s not. I really want nothing else but for it to be ok, I love her so much and she absolutely hates me.
 
Yeah, we do still read them. And I’ve said many of the same things to myself a lot of times.

It does get better. But for persistent depression, it can feel like the slowest thing in the world, with everything working against you. When we’re depressed, everything looks helpless and hopeless (they’re a key symptom of the illness), and that’s the only way our brain can actually see things when we’re depressed.

But it does get better. The countdown to trying new meds has altered started. So hang in there, change may be just around the corner, for you and your relationship and your work status.

If you feel like you can’t hold out that long, call the doctor and speak to them honestly about how the situation has become a little more urgent. They may be able to see you sooner (I’ve got a lot of early appointments simply by being on a waiting list). If necessary, reach out to a new doctor as a temporary measure.
 
Yeah, we do still read them. And I’ve said many of the same things to myself a lot of times.

It does get better. But for persistent depression, it can feel like the slowest thing in the world, with everything working against you. When we’re depressed, everything looks helpless and hopeless (they’re a key symptom of the illness), and that’s the only way our brain can actually see things when we’re depressed.

But it does get better. The countdown to trying new meds has altered started. So hang in there, change may be just around the corner, for you and your relationship and your work status.

If you feel like you can’t hold out that long, call the doctor and speak to them honestly about how the situation has become a little more urgent. They may be able to see you sooner (I’ve got a lot of early appointments simply by being on a waiting list). If necessary, reach out to a new doctor as a temporary measure.
Thanks for reading, the situation is urgent. I have no where to go. My kids are afraid of me, and I don’t know who to talk to. My weekly therapy appointments don’t seem like enough. I’ve tried calling the Dr’s office but am told they don’t do waitlist appointments. Tried getting ahold of my psychiatrist to change meds and can’t get a response. I simply don’t know where to go or what to do. Just disappearing seems kinder to all involved
 
Just disappearing seems kinder to all involved
Definitely not the kindest option. Not for anyone involved, particularly you.

Crisis support services in your area may be the next bet, to tide you over. Not just for crisis support, but also for referrals to a doctor that can see you more urgently. Depression-focused services can offer just enough help to make it through those darkest hours:)
 
I have been where you are. Maybe go to the emergency room and then they can help find an inpatient facility. It sounds like you need help right now. Can you drive yourself there?
 
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