Thought Stopping, Does This Actually Work For Anyone?

[turtlemoon]

I love my CBT therapist, I really do. From me, that is saying a lot. I had some really horrible experiences around counseling and the like as a teen and the whole process is intensely triggering for me in itself as an adult. Finding myself able to work with a counselor is sort of an achievement in and of itself.

With that said, she is really big on "Thought Stopping" as a behavioral excercise. Even to the point of having me draw stop signs as a physical exercise to remember later. And ok, maybe this works for some people. But it is not working for me. I mean... if I could just make myself stop having these thoughts, I wouldn't be there right? Uggh. Trying to stay open minded and coachable here. I really am. But then, tell yourself not to think about pink elephants and let me know what your next thought is.

Last session I brought it up again, and she thinks it may have to do with the word "stop" itself. I was sexually assaulted, and she thinks there may be some kind of triggering thing going on with me around that word. I do not really think this is the case. ***this may be triggering for some people*** I tried getting an IUD last week, and it was a horrible awful mess. I had to have them stop. They did, naturally. She also seems to think this is empowering for me... having my "stop" heard. Maybe I need to think about it that way.... but there was other stuff there that was the problem. Like, having a complete flashback meltdown during the process, and then feeling betrayed by my mind and body at the end. The word has nothing to do with it.

Anyways, I digress. Jeeze it is so hard not to ramble on about some of this. But yeah, thought stopping. Does this work for anyone, and if not... what kind of trigger controling cognitive stuff do the rest of you guys use?

 

[IamFree]

I think that there are so many methods out there and what works for one sometimes does not work for another ...its good to try stuff it can take a lot of trial and error to find the right formula

 

[Justmehere]

I have done some very helpful CBT work but I don't find that thought stopping works for me. Challenging distorted thoughts works a lot better for me. Stopping them? Well, like you rouched on, it's like someone telling me "don't think about pink elephants, don't think about pink elephants." Well, what would many people do with with that? Think about pink elephants. Of course.

It's a lot more helpful for me to instead focus on thought replacement. I have also found it a little bit helpful to give myself a certain set of time to think about something, and then to "put it away." It's different than thought stopping. It's more of containing ruminating, and replacing distressing thoughts with something perhaps more accurate and/or helpful.

Thought stopping does work for some people, but not every tool works for every person, and this tool is it working for you. It's ok and even good to tell your therapist that it's not working and you'd like to focus on other skills.

 

[turtlemoon]

Agreed. I think a good example for me would be suicidal ideation. I have struggled with that one no less than 20 years (I am 32). To the point that it is as much a part of my routine as bathing. Sometimes it is less frequent than others, definitely more present when things are toughest. I had a really hard time of it (the aftermath of taking care of oldest and worst abuser, who is still abusive, under my roof for 3 years while paying everything and trying to get a degree..) I tried so hard to stop those thoughts. Basically did everything the therapist is suggesting now, and the result was a prolongued period of being afraid to even leave my bed lest I hurt myself. Trying to stop the thoughts made me a panic struck prisoner to them.

Fast forward to now, instead of trying to shut them off I consciously try to deflect them. Whenever the old thoughts of, I should kill myself, or I am going to killmyself come up, I add to them i should kill my self loathing. I am going to kill my self doubt.

It isnt perfect, I get that. Brought this up in therapy, was actually quite pleased with myself for finding some way to deal with this that was better than anything I had tried before, and she immediately goes back to thought stopping. Kind of frustrating. I was hoping we could talk about it more, maybe discuss other ways I could apply it, but I guess she is just there to offer some tools and then I am here to figure out what works.

 

[Intrepid]

Thought stopping never worked for me. However, my therapist has a lot of other tools in her tool chest. She kept pulling them out and showing me until I found a few that work for me. I too have issues with past therapists, so this was a long process. It took about 6 months before I felt safe with the tools I had.

 

[turtlemoon]

It's a lot more helpful for me to instead focus on thought replacement. I have also found it a little bit helpful to give myself a certain set of time to think about something, and then to "put it away." It's different than thought stopping. It's more of containing ruminating, and replacing distressing thoughts with something perhaps more accurate and/or helpful.

Yes on putting things away for later. I had gone to the internet for help with the thought stopping, and came across the idea of worry appointments. That was quite helpful. And another thing I shared with my counselor at a different session... to have her push thought stopping again. :/

 

[Eagle3]

Yeah, trying to stop thoughts never worked for me. Just led to patterns of denial, dissociation, and the like which lead to WORSE intrusive thoughts and rumination! I found it best to follow a thought to its full conclusion then let it go, or let myself think the thought while paying attention to the feelings the thought brought along with it, or just replacing the thought with something that contradicted or distracted from the original thought. That works much better for me. STOPPING thoughts is just not feasible for me, kind of like always fighting against a brick wall for forward progress. Sounds like your T needs to do more research and find other solutions to that problem. If someone told me to do thought stopping, I'd have a seriously defensive response, since that's a trigger for me. That kind of thing was taught as the only way to handle mental business in the cult I was raised in, and I've seen the damage it caused not just to me, but to everyone who actually tried to follow that advice.

 

[MisterCatLady]

Thought stopping works for me (it was a huge epiphany when I first discovered it) but it's a honed skill. You have to train your brain to listen to your commands and act accordingly. Then your brain reacts faster and more efficiently over time.

 

[MisterCatLady]

So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want you to be discouraged. Of course it doesn't work for everyone but it has value.

 

[turtlemoon]

Glad it works for you. I worry I am becoming obsessive with trying to get it to work. I might need to be a little more insistent with my T to drop it though. Need her to help me focus on what works instead of driving myself nutty on what doesn't. Not sure how to broach this one with her thouhh.

 

[Spaced Out]

I'm doing CBT now and he is teaching me to not stop my thoughts, but to allow them without judgement. That my stopping the thoughts is what is keeping me stuck in PTSD. So, the A B C sheets that I use in the CBT is really helpful--Have you used those at all? It helps break the thoughts down, what is the triggering event, or though-- then what do I tell myself -- then what do I feel or "do" then, after those ABC's are identified I ask myself, is there a more helpful way to view this? "challenging" the thought. However, I will say way back in 1990's when I started my recovery I would use thought stopping on myself whenever I would catch myself having negative self talk. If I found myself thinking, feeling "I'm worthless" I would STOP! I had used a visual of a stop sign for that. Then I saw a cartoon of a spray can that had the words "Stop It" on it. I thought it was so funny that if I caught myself thinking "I'm not smart enough" or whatever negative victim thoughts I was having-I would visualize myself spraying the Stop It can. Then tell myself the truth "I'm a valuable person with much to offer to the world" But as far as obsessing thoughts or flashbacks-I do not stop those now--I will sit with those and not judge myself or my reactions. I would tell myself "It is natural that I'm having this reaction at the doctor's office because of what happened to me"

 

[turtlemoon]

Can you tell me more about those ABC sheets?