Hey there,
I just joined, and I can be impatient sometimes, so I already have a question. :) I hope this isn't too long..It's just been bothering me a lot, trying to figure out the meaning.
Well, I've been in therapy now for about 2 1/2 years, about 1.5 years with my current T. I first entered therapy because I couldn't feel anything or just couldn't tell what I was feeling. It took me until about oh, 2 or 3 months ago before I finally started to trust her a bit more. Memories started coming up, first in the form of emotions and then images (which are so hazy, it makes me doubt their validity *all* the time). Anyway, although I know that I'm moving forward in my therapy, I'm also in a period where everything is worse.
I'm a college student, nearly 22, and entering my last year in college. My memories of childhood and even up through high school are very hazy. I only have a small, small handful of memories from elementary and middle school (and most, if not all, of those are exclusive to school). So I don't know if I've lost time before, because I can't remember. Since I've been in college, there have been a few instances where I've lost time, even had a short conversation with someone. After a couple minutes I "woke up" and asked her the same question I'd apparently already asked and was told that she already answered and that I had responded to her answer in a kind of snarky way? Which isn't like me, and I have absolutely no memory of it. More recently, I lost about 30 minutes when I was driving and woke up to myself having a panic attack and had to immediately pull over because I was pretty dizzy. There are small things lately that I'm not remembering, like putting things in odd places and having absolutely no memory of putting them there. I am also notorious for having a bad memory...I never seem to remember things.
In one of my recent sessions I realized that I had some clear chatter in my head between two "parts", one was yelling at the other, and I was like a neutral party, witnessing the action. I've known for a while that I have dissociated parts of myself, like my emotions and memories, but it kind of scared me to hear such clear chatter. With the things that have been going on recently I just have no clue what to think of this. I was wondering, is time loss like this exclusive to DID or can you have time loss and still just have severe dissociation (but not have DID)?
Sorry for the rambling...thanks to anyone who reads this. :)
I just joined, and I can be impatient sometimes, so I already have a question. :) I hope this isn't too long..It's just been bothering me a lot, trying to figure out the meaning.
Well, I've been in therapy now for about 2 1/2 years, about 1.5 years with my current T. I first entered therapy because I couldn't feel anything or just couldn't tell what I was feeling. It took me until about oh, 2 or 3 months ago before I finally started to trust her a bit more. Memories started coming up, first in the form of emotions and then images (which are so hazy, it makes me doubt their validity *all* the time). Anyway, although I know that I'm moving forward in my therapy, I'm also in a period where everything is worse.
I'm a college student, nearly 22, and entering my last year in college. My memories of childhood and even up through high school are very hazy. I only have a small, small handful of memories from elementary and middle school (and most, if not all, of those are exclusive to school). So I don't know if I've lost time before, because I can't remember. Since I've been in college, there have been a few instances where I've lost time, even had a short conversation with someone. After a couple minutes I "woke up" and asked her the same question I'd apparently already asked and was told that she already answered and that I had responded to her answer in a kind of snarky way? Which isn't like me, and I have absolutely no memory of it. More recently, I lost about 30 minutes when I was driving and woke up to myself having a panic attack and had to immediately pull over because I was pretty dizzy. There are small things lately that I'm not remembering, like putting things in odd places and having absolutely no memory of putting them there. I am also notorious for having a bad memory...I never seem to remember things.
In one of my recent sessions I realized that I had some clear chatter in my head between two "parts", one was yelling at the other, and I was like a neutral party, witnessing the action. I've known for a while that I have dissociated parts of myself, like my emotions and memories, but it kind of scared me to hear such clear chatter. With the things that have been going on recently I just have no clue what to think of this. I was wondering, is time loss like this exclusive to DID or can you have time loss and still just have severe dissociation (but not have DID)?
Sorry for the rambling...thanks to anyone who reads this. :)
