To Increase Or Not To Increase

[Kintsugi]

I feel a little silly posting several times but this is only my second time on medication, and it will be my first long-term stretch.

I went on meds last semester and took them for about two and a half months before ending for various silly reasons. I've just gotten back up to my standard dose from last semester, but I am not experiencing the same relief. I am under a lot of stress right now and my mood swings (which the meds are meant to level) are much more severe than they were last semester, when I was pretty much at stasis with deep depression and only every few weeks would I swing from sadness to rage and back rapidly. In any case, I'm on a dose 75mg below what my psych originally recommended last semester. Everyone is so proud of me for staying so far beneath this (I'm only on 100mg. He suggested 150-200mg), particularly my mother, who is a staunch naturalist.

If I'm not feeling the same relief I did before, does that mean I should step up my dose or that I just need to cope with my present pressure? I am anticipating the next year of my life to be a very stressful process in regard to working hard on some of my issues, plus my fiance leaves tomorrow night to fly to the other side of the world for three months. My most prominent concern is that my suicidal thoughts have not dissipated, and my nightmares continue (nightmares were the first thing that stopped the last time I started a therapeutic dose, then suicidal thoughts).

Any advice? I'm really new to this process and I don't think my family would ever support me in stepping up my dose, so I'm not even going to ask them for an opinion.

 

[Kintsugi]

I am merely re-posting on this thread to keep it alive and visible to those who may be able to help me.

 

[anthony]

Doesn't sound like your coping your present pressures though... and if your below the recommended, then there is no real harm in trying to increase IF it does provide you the relief you need at present.

 

[Kintsugi]

Doesn't sound like your coping your present pressures though... and if your below the recommended, then there is no real harm in trying to increase IF it does provide you the relief you need at present.

I think I lost my prescription AGAIN (I lose everything), so I really need to call my P tomorrow and ask for a new prescription, preferable 125-150mg. We'll see how it goes.

 

[MAS444]

I lose everything too it's so frustrating. Big hugs to you

 

[Heather]

Sunshine - I agree with Anthony. If you're not finding relief of your symptoms at the lower dose I would increase it.

I'm taking Topomax to stabilize my mood. I had to go up to 400 mg. before I began to "level out".

I hope that helps.

Take care. Heather

 

[Kintsugi]

I have no idea what feeling normal is like, so I am not really sure how I am supposed to be measuring my own improvement, really. What is ideal functioning? At what point do I know that I am being helped in an ideal way? I have no idea. I know that it's good when the nightmares stop and the dissociation becomes less, and I do not cry when I wake up and while I fall asleep. I'm just wondering if I push this farther, what will change? At this point, though, I am still getting teary in the morning, some nightmares, a little panic over sleep, sometimes nervous breakdowns or meltdowns over small statements/behaviors/whatever.

 

[Heather]

I can only speak for me. With the Topomax.... it took away all the craziness there was NO more lunacy, no more internal ache, no more feeling like I was going to split in two. I finally felt like a "normal" human being.

For me the biggest thing I noticed is that it's like someone has put a "cap" on my emotions. I still feel things but instead of exploding.......everything is very muted. It allows me to act instead of react. Does that make sense?

 

[Kintsugi]

Yes. I want that.

It allows me to act instead of react.

 

[Heather]

what meds are you on? you only give the dosage.

 

[Kintsugi]

I am on Lamotrigine. It's a seizure medication. My SO was on it for manic episodes, too. It's a mood stabilizer in small doses, as I understand it.