To Tell Or Not To Tell... That Is The Question I Need Help With

[Jico]

I was self-employed two years ago. We were going to be incorporated and we were actually becoming very successful. Part-time on the side, I was at this firm doing some office work and scheduling appointments among managing databases.

BACKSTORY: I made a friend, there. A co-worker. I am generally very reserved. So, the office receptionist, my boss and myself went to this diner for lunch one day during work and we all ordered our meals. Long story short, this receptionist told me that I was very interesting and smart, but yet very interesting because I spoke very little. There were days where only her and I went into the office and she tried connecting with me because she was uncomfortable leaving things weird; others were more social than me and it just seemed like I didn't care about anything but work.

Conclusion/Climax: This is where things god bad. Reluctantly, I stated talking to a co-worker that had just started working there who I also took on to my company, so he was the person I trusted. Kind of funny -- he was the perfect friend I'd always dream of having. A few times, I'd zone out for about an hour straight. On my last day at that part time job, I didn't see him. What I'm told by my company partner: these certain friends or partners were never real. I was delusional. Made things up that I believed to be true but weren't. He was no longer involved in the company because he said I manufactured a reality to suit my delusions and that I couldn't tell reality from my delusions and it wasn't a smart way to run a company -- because I was mentally ill and couldn't continue. I was talking to myself when I believed I was talking to my friend(s).

Q: I'm not sure I truly understand what's wrong with my, what this all means and what happened. I don't trust myself to make friends and I certainly don't trust myself enough to socialize anymore because what if I'm just talking to myself, making a scene in public? Or, what if I push those away if I'm not delusional at this point because I don't trust myself and I can never fully give myself to anyone after that?

 

[Jico]

For the above (^) I don't know if or how I should tell my therapist.

 

[Etik]

these certain friends or partners were never real.

Do you mean that he doesn't believe the people existed at all? If these were people you were working with/for, it shouldn't be too hard to look them and their company/business up to check if they are real or not, or look at wage slips etc

If it turns out that these people don't exist, then yes, I think telling your therapist is a good plan. Even if it turns out that they do, it is probably worth discussing this co workers behaviour and how it's made you feel with your therapist.

Curious to know where this co-worker thinks he met you if it wasn't at the place of work he is saying doesn't exist?

 

[Rorod]

Actually I may have read wrong the first time? Is the company partner the same person as the co-worker you made friends with?

 

[Jico]

Curious to know where this co-worker thinks he met you if it wasn't at the place of work he is saying doesn't exist?

Thanks for your advice. The co-worker who told me this was my own company's co-worker who was referring to the people at my part-time job not being real. It is because he also began working at that part-time job with me and my boss and the rest of the team said that I was making it an uncomfortable work place because I was delusional and was talking to people that wasn't real and I was doing things at work that were not very "normal." They told him "He's your boss at [his own company], right? How has he been acting as your boss there compared to being just an employee here?

 

[Edac]

So is it just the co-worker you believe you made friends with that this partner doesn't believe exists? As he worked there with you...

he also began working at that part-time job with me and my boss and the rest of the team said that I was making it an uncomfortable work place because I was delusional and was talking to people that wasn't real

...I'm assuming he's not saying the whole firm doesn't exist?

Is there any way for you to verify who else was working there at the time?

 

[Jico]

So is it just the co-worker you believe you made friends with that this partner doesn't believe exists? As he worked ther...

Right. So let me put it this way. My partner from my company let's say was Tom. Tom worked for me in my company while I worked at this part-time clinic and met someone named... let's say "Sally" and "Maria." At first, I'd talk to Tom about Amy and Maria -- or whoever I spoke about, I spoke about others on how I loved the place. When he was interested in working there I got Tom the job and he worked with me with no sign of Sally or Maria or some of the things I said about this clinic which were not true. How I manufactured my reality to suit my delusions to feel safe or powerful. How I was very convincing and convinced. My boss had mentioned to Tom in a meeting already that lots of things I said were lies. (My boss didn't know I guess I was mentally ill so he was rude about it). I guess then I didn't know there was anything wrong with me either.

 

[Jico]

Right. So let me put it this way. My partner from my company let's say was Tom. Tom worked for me in my company while I w...

*At first, I'd talk to Tom about *SALLY and Maria.

 

[Nowim]

Ah okay. Thanks for clarifying. I guess the question I have now is, are you in agreement with 'Tom' that these people didn't actually exist, or do you think there is, or might be, another explanation?

If you agree with him, then I'd say this is definitely something you need to talk over with your therapist.

You said this happened two years ago. To your knowledge, has anything similar happened since then?

 

[Jico]

Ah okay. Thanks for clarifying. I guess the question I have now is, are you in agreement with 'Tom' that these people di...

I think deep down I could never admit to myself he was wrong. I got so angry, I fired him and I actually quit that part-time job because he slowly took my position because everyone was trying to have me leave that clinic because no one really liked me I guess. I worked alone at my company for a while and had people write bad reviews about him as an employee. After about a year, last year to now, I finally gave up on those delusions and realized that he was right all along and I just can't tell the difference anymore.

To my knowledge, now, I don't know. It just seems like my whole past is a lie. I'm confused and can't tell the difference.

 

[Jico]

I just don't know how to tell my therapist and what would happen? What can this possibly be or treated with?

 

[Mowet]

Your therapist would probably explore what is happening with more thoughts and encouraging looking - or not looking - into it, as suitable for your mental health right now?

You have a chance of gaining another ally in determining what is real, and what is not, and if it matters for your life right now?