Tomorrow Is Here, But Today I'm Floating

[scout86]

Hey, you did GREAT! I know you're not happy about the way things went with the restraining order (and neither am I!) but the rest of it was AWESOME! It was really really hard, you made it through and you did a good job, from the sound of it.

Thanks so much for posting this! I've been thinking about you all day, worrying and wondering how it went. If I didn't have a dog sleeping on my lap, I'd be jumping up and down. Cry it you want, scream, if you need to, but don't cut, you did the best you could and you did a great job.

Have a good and restful night, you surely earned it!

 

[mytai]

@scout86, the police that came to take my statement this time around were my first "good" experience with police and reporting. I don't want to cut because I don't want to do that again (I'm already so angry with myself for doing it yesterday), the very emotional and messed up me "wants" to cut. I'm trying very hard to not listen to the emotional, messed up me in this. All I want to be able to do is sleep until tomorrow when I see my T, but even after taking the prescription I was given to help with that, I'm still going. My mind won't rest right now.

@billie, thank you for the hug.

 

[Ryn]

Oh (((mytai))). You did so well dear one. I am sorry it was so difficult, but so proud of you. You're safe now. Please take care of yourself and give Chelsea extra cuddles tonight, and do call the crisis line if you need. I will be praying for you and for some small measure of peace. Well done today, you did it. :hug: :hug: :hug: No matter how hard it was and still is, you did it and that is something to be proud of. xx

 

[novemberDark]

Hi mytai, was good to read the post from you here ( was checking for some today).
Wauw your strong !.

Hard work of your mind today.
hope you can let it get it's earned rest tonight.

Be kind to you !.

Sleep processes the events of the day, to go on. I'm not diagnosed with ptsd but I hope your dreams can be about the events of today, like it's suppose to.

You did it ! , and someone that can read this thread can see all this courage.

Wish you well and safe.

 

[mytai]

@Ryn, I did end up calling the crisis line already. Shortly after I posted the lengthy post actually. I ended up going into my car because I was so restless at home. I ended up crying hysterically on the phone with this poor crisis line volunteer. I feel so bad for her listening to my cry-talk, it's amazing she even understood what I was saying to her. She talked to me for a while, and told me I could call back in tonight if I was still having a hard time.

 

[Ryn]

I am glad you called, thank you for doing that. :) I hope it helped even a tiny bit, and that you will continue to utilize that resource as you need it. I know it can be so hard to reach out like that but I'm so glad you did. Please don't feel bad about allowing yourself to unload some of your emotions on her - that is what they are there for! They absolutely understand and are happy to help however they can.

I hope you continue to let us know how you are doing if/when you feel able, but **above all** please take care of yourself. You are one strong lady, even when you don't feel like it... we all see it so clearly and are rooting for you, and believe in you.

Lighting a candle for you and sending gentle hugs and strength. And again - well done today. Really well done.

 

[Echo]

@mytai - I am just in awe of you and your bravery. And I am so pleased to read about how well it went with the police. It sounds as if they were really listening and treating you very respectfully - at last! And your T sounds like she really was there for you - she really held your back.

I do though wish someone had advised you properly about the courts. You went from the prepared, controlled, understanding space of the police station right slap bang into the cold, unlistening, uncaring court. No wonder it was such a shock. I hope you have no need of their services. I hope the next you hear is that your Great Uncle has been arrested. And I hope this happens fast for you.

I sent my letter yesterday and e-mails to my sisters so I'm about to go into lock-down, pack up today and then drive off to the other end of the country for a week's break until I know how they are all going to react. Once I get there, I will check in here again. In the meantime, I hope you start to feel calmer. Ring the crisis line as much as you have to and be as incoherent as you need to be. That's what they're there for. Even if you can't sleep yet, hug up with Chelsea and let her warmth and heart beat calm you and comfort you. I'm so glad you see your therapist again tomorrow. You have planned this all so well.

You are an inspiration to me and I'm sure many other people reading this. Really awe-inspiring. Be very proud of yourself. Take great care. Do all your safety checks and keep that dog close!

 

[HelenB]

I am so glad to hear how amazingly well you have done and how supported and listened to you were finally able to be by the police. I have been thinking of you so much and really hope you can feed into that emotional and messed up you that you are now safe and that you are finding other ways to deal with it, and that you do not deserve to be hurt, but looked after and protected, and that that is what you are now doing.

I am so glad your therapist was also so good and supportive for you and really hope it goes well when you see her today.

God bless
Helen

 

[Bedbug]

(((@mytai)))

 

[mytai]

I eventually fell asleep last night, it wasn't restful. I had nightmares the entire night about my great-uncle coming to hurt me. I woke up and the nightmare didn't stop then, I still saw him straddling me with his hands around my neck trying to choke me. I am so scared right now, I don't know what to do. I don't feel safe, not even a little.

 

[Rumors]

Breathe. You are safe. Call the resource line, eat, shower, exercise... Hang in there!

 

[HelenB]

I am sorry to hear you had such a hard night and are feeling so unsafe. I am praying you can really feed into yourself that you are now safe and that the actions you are taking are to protect you so that he cannot get to you again, and that you can manage to keep yourself in the present enough to know that the things you are feeling are not happening now and that you really are now safe.

Sending you gentle hugs and praying for you.

God bless
Helen