Too exhausted to keep fighting

[Deleted member 12723]

You are so worth this fight. I have been where you are and I learned afterwards that I had no idea of the real good waiting for me around the corner. You are so worth this fight. Get some rest and and eat and maybe that might help a little for you. You are in my prayers continually to be able to hang on to life for yourself.:hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[AJ45]

You are so worth this fight. I have been where you are and I learned afterwards that I had no idea of the...

Thanks rain im doing my best, it just seems obsollete. I wish it were easier to talk about things but then it just seems so stupid because i know things could always be worse. shame and guilt suck. its not easy to get the help one needs.

I do want to be able to live, i just dont know how. Its ironic its easier and cheaper to plan death than it is to keep trying to live.

I dont know why it seems like the only thing i can clearly think about, and actually whole heartdly want. It makes me happy and calm.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I know that you really want an escape from this awful pain. I am having a very hard day today and I hate this kind of pain very much. This is a very bad day for you and the thoughts are lying to you I believe because I was lied to also especially the guilt and shame were the worst on that day for me. I understand this kind of fight.:hug:

 

[AJ45]

I know that you really want an escape from this awful pain. I am having a very hard day today and I hate this kind of pain very much. This is a very bad day for you and the thoughts are lying to you I believe because I was lied to also especially the guilt and shame were the worst on that day for me. I understand this kind of fight.:hug:

what do you do rain when things just seem impossible?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

what do you do rain when things just seem impossible?

Today feels impossible to me and I keep expressing this pain in my diary. I have learned that if I at least start to start talking about it and keep at it, as hard as this is, I do actually quit resisting the feelings of pain and it starts to go away, because I have learned that I need to both express it and get this out of me.

It took a lot of hellish days to learn this one though. If you feel like giving it a try the support you will get here will actually lesson the pain. I understand that you do not want to express it because of the other bad feelings.:hug::hug::hug:

 

[Gs172003]

Oh i wish a knew. i wish it wasnt so hard and exhausting to fight. it shouldnt be this hard to be safe a...

Baby I've been there. It'll get better. I promise. Keep coming here. Keep reading.keep learning. We've got you

 

[AJ45]

i just need to stop being afraid rains right i deserve help.

 

[shatter eyes]

The more we share the less grip the darkness of death has on us. However..i learned that if i share to wrong type of people my suicidal depressive exhaustion suddenly turns into a murderous rage from my honest vulnerability being insulted.

When i read your post i see myself. I feel tired trapped using whats left of me to fight to find a way out. I feel so trapped that death appears to be the only solution to break past the confines.

If i die physically then my spirit will be free to live. It becomes a romantic delusion that suicide will heal me.

I feel for you. Its like reading the words i would have written.

When we are tired the world seems very small. At times my outlook expands when i get rested which reduces my hypervigilence so i am receptive to seeing my value...renewing recharging me.

 

[AJ45]

The more we share the less grip the darkness of death has on us. However..i learned that if i shar...

im so sorry to hear youve been here, but i def get it. its liek a force that i cant stop and im just done and tired, its like i have no control even though i try. i have been "getting things in order" its automatic at this point

 

[Gs172003]

im so sorry to hear youve been here, but i def get it. its liek a force that i cant stop and im just done...

Then don't share to the wrong people. Share with us. We are here for you.