First I hold you in my heart because I honestly know from my experience when the fog is thick and it is hard to see our intrinsic values.
You are experiencing some serious external stuff that are harshly poking at your core issues. I hope you find the light in your exploration.
May I suggest and it may be obvious and maybe you already have done it but that you try giving it forward? If others touch is making you feel wow! too much then I think your rationale side knows this is good too and then you can keep on giving forward and help someone else just like you are helped by these amazing friends.
Life is a cycle. You need feel good experience that you are the doer and the creator.
You get and you give and you may or may not feel burden still but definitely you may lift another's burden and energy between humans works in mysterious ways. Making others feel good (just like your friends are doing) can be itself a healing...I am not suggesting you do it because you want to use that as soothing (or at least be conscious you are) but giving forward may take you out of this incredible tight place that you find yourself even when good things are happening - like good friends helping you out is making you deeper into the ditch.
In the midst of crisis it is hard to see the light, but the fact you are articulating these feelings and no less in writing which you can re-read many times, tells me, you could ally with your rationale side and re-write each core issues with an example of opposite from the past or one for the future.
We have our rationale to get us out of the ditch and our emotions to learn where the ditches are in the first place.
Take your life back from the past.