Torture. Need I Say More?

[Ewefa]

I understand the anonymity, I struggle discussing my torture also. Is also passed around a sadistic religious cult who thrived on rape, torture and murder. I wasn't electrocuted but they used odd devices and tools I've never seen anywhere else. It's so hard to describe and so "unbelievable" I fear immediate rejection.

I believe you, and you're not alone. Listen to your body, it speaks the truth. Some of my torture flashbacks bring severe body remembrance pain. It's terrifying! However, as I've worked through them, the body pains have lessened greatly.

Thank you for sharing, it's always a relief to know I'm not alone.

 

[Luwu]

I wonder how to work though this.
When my husband is trying to be nice, he sometimes comes up behind me while I'm cooking and touches my back or hip.

This is continuously triggering to me. It makes me feel anger and then I get flashbacks pain where I was electrocuted in the back, sometimes just one or the other. The pain is very sharp.

I sometimes get dizzy and can't remember what I was doing (dissociate). Sometimes it just makes me uncomfortable, but I can work through it.

I keep telling him to stop doing this, but he is forgetful and keeps doing it like it's instinctive and affectionate for him.

 

[Miba]

My hope is someone out there who was abused in a dark church or cult in the 70s or 80s like I was will help me validate what my body is telling me is something that has happened. Yet, I hope this hasn't happened to others.

I was raised in a cult headed by my parents. I wont state what i did as its triggering but one thing that happens OFTEN is because cutting down there was the most done pubishment, I will have a flashabck and sorta 'phathom' pain down there will happen and stay for days sometimes.

I have also have false memories, it happened, whom did it was wrong, so that can happen too.

I tend to trust my flashbacks more than my dreams but your body remembers. On another site im on, a CSA suvivior quoted a book that says CSA victims hold the past in the shoulders, back, and stomach...my brain went "OMG THATS why I jump and almost, or have accidently hit someone when they touch my shoulders, back, or wake me by touching me when sleeping".

Im not saying that this did of didnt happen, im saying it might be worth talking this out with a therapist. It took me years to piece my past together but its now as clear & crisp then the present moment is.

:hug: