Touching Base - Out Of The Hospital Now

[Spacechic]

Hey,

Well what a journey. Been a bit quiet as I was in hospital. Another Crisis. The day started out okay but all these voices started to get better of me. I ended up somehow leaving my house and must have punched my hand on something as it was bleeding and swollen.

Living remote the hopsital is skeleton. I was shacked up there for a few days then was transfered to another hospital. My meds were reviewed and changed. My head was all over the place. As I tried to avoid being scheduled. I struggled and dug deep. Grounding myself. Behaving myself. With all my inner strength I made it home for xmas.

But my struggle continues. This journey is not easy. The road not short nor flat. I navigate the undulations and drop offs. I tell my self to be strong. Help is hard to find here. There is no psych in town and at the moment no adult mental health worker. I am reliant on my support via email and phone. And I am reliant on my own strength.

I want these voices to stop bothering me. I want these flashback visions to subside and leave me in peace. I know I can beat this.

Spacechic

 

[GodSeeker]

Hey Spacechic,
Yes, the road is long, tortuous and trip unconfortable. Nobody can know that unless he experiences it first hand. This is not a war movie. This is REALITY hard like stone. A lot of strength is needed and sometimes strength is not enough. I know how it feels to have to manage everything oneself. I am in the exact situation. It is possible to live with it but at what a price!!
I also want to get it out myself and find the way to live in peace with my fellow human beings but as for now it is a bit difficult.
Stress is a killer!! It eats you from the inside out and doesn´t give you any peace. It steals your youth, your health, leaves you without friends (who by the way think you are crazy), without a job, without support, without family. It knocks you out.
How to deal with it? The problem is you cannot fight it because it is part of yourself. It´s your survival instinct which is overwhelmed. The same instinct that brought you in this world and it will do his best to keep you alive until you dye.
My friend, I know what you feel and hope that someday we will be able to free ourselves.

 

[Pixie]

I'm so sorry that you have been having a hard time Spacechic. I really wish there was some better support outback for you...

Not sure what to say other than I understand how difficult it is to accept and hear the voices when they are constant.

Rell

 

[Grainne]

I was thinking of you the other day Spacechic...wondering how you were making out. Good to hear from you...especially sounding so determined to find peace.

Welcome back.
Grainne

 

[suzie q]

So glad to hear that you are still with us! Sorry about your hospital stay. In the past when I went into any kind of treatment, I tried to look at it as a vacation with meds and a bed! Know that sounds so silly but it helped my attitude about what I was trying to do with myself...get better and live a near "normal" life. Being so far out of places for help would make me very anxious. I think it's great that you are reaching out in this forum for help and answers.

My experiences with situations that required outside help have been plenty for me. That's only because I continued to research and reach out, not allow my symptoms to keep me totally isolated and lonely. It is a long journey (going on 25 years of searching for "the answer"). My journey has been extremely irritating, overwhelming, vicious, painful, and at times seemed hopeless. I knew if I ever quit looking for the truth I would be institutionalized and lost forever. That gave me immense strength and incentive to keep going forward. That and a healthy dose of a "power greater than me."

I hear you when you are saying you want the voices to go away. I hear you when you say that you are relying on your own strength right now. The good road is never easy and always takes longer than we think we can last...but we can last and have by staying connected to those who have felt our pain. PLEASE, don't ever think you have to quit and give in to anything other than getting to a place of peace and contentment, one where the voices can't come and were we make healthy choices for LIFE, not survival. Thanks so much for sharing and the strength you give by fighting.