Trapped In Bed And Letting Everyone Down

[orphaned child]

I quit my job one and a half months ago. It was an executive position and it was 9-5. Something I have avoided all my life. I've always freelanced. I was there four years and felt like I was in a hamster wheel. I was very lonely and to be honest the people were not very nice. To be fair to myself knowone could stay in the position for more than a year for the last ten years. I now have several business deals and projects to start, but I am frozen. I think that it started with this group I joined and got in touch with my traumatic childhood. Great so now what do I do. My husband made me breakfast in bed and I'm trying hard not to act like a psycho. People are calling me and I'm blowing them off saying I'm sick. All this freakin snow is not helping me either.I may have to see a therapist I just don't think it would help. maybe I'm just angrey at the joba and the fact that I stayed so long. Anthony said just do one thing at a time. I guess I have to.

 

[orphaned child]

Well I've moved onto the couch!!! I will have a Valentine dinner! I will go to a project meeting for brunch. And I'm doing a wash.

 

[Reclusive]

I hope your Valentine's dinner was good! Good on you for breaking free of that. I had a bed day a couple days ago and know how it can be. Just remember to breath.

 

[KP the nut]

I can relate to the staying in bed thing. Some days it is such an effort to shower and dress, so on those days that is my small step. I haven't worked since Nov 10 and I'm being made redundant at the end of March. I can see it becoming very easy to turn into a recluse, avoiding friends, not going out etc.

BUT I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO IT. I will not let this damn PTSD get the better of me, I will fight it until I have control. You are welcome to join me in the fight.

Some days are v hard and I am learning that that is OK, if I stay at home in bed, I practise grounding exercises, listen to an audio book. As well as a supportive H, I have 2 dogs who are always there for me, they give me purpose and at times when H is away make me take them for walks.

Hang in, you are not alone.
KP

 

[Heather]

You are definitely not alone. I feel like I have hit bottom too. I spend most days on the couch. I have absolutely no motivation to do ANYTHING. Nor do I care to. I feel like giving up.

I feel like a failure as a mom. I don't even help my 7 y/o do her h.w. She doesn't even do her h.w. Hasn't in a month. Teacher doesn't even send it home anymore. We don't even practice her reading. I've stopped eating again. One meal a day, maybe two. I JUST DON'T CARE.

I love you Kath and sorry to hear you are struggling. Cocoa is peeing all over the house and since I have no car! I can't even take her to the vet. to find out what is wrong with that little sh*t-bucket. I want to strangle her!!!!!

Today is just NOT a good day

.

 

[jesse]

Orphaned child you are being so hard on yourself. I do that too and it just makes everything so much harder when we beat ourselves up when we are already down. I have isolated myself from people for the past year and a half mostly because I don't have a choice. At first it was sheer hell but now it is comforting. Is that really a bad thing? Just take your time to heal at your own pace only you know what that will be.

 

[Srain]

Moving to the couch is a HUGE step. It may not seem like it in the scheme of things but it is. Hang in there!

Rain

 

[Amy_]

I have been reading posts on here for months and related so strongly to yours that I finally got up the courage to reply to one.
You sound like you are going through something very similar to what I am. I left my job back in October, have spent numerous days in bed or on the sofa.....

My husband has been my godsend. Things will get better slowly but they will. Talk to someone a therapist family someone....
I am lucky my boys are older so they can taken care of themselves but I make sure I am up and dressed when they get home from school. For me putting on a good front for them is helping me hold on.... I know I have not totally given up.

Everyone is different but I hope you find your way... Know there are kind people out there wishing you well!

 

[Emily]

I hear you guys! I've been in a similar place lately.

I left my job this month because it was taking a toll on me and making my anxiety worse. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. It wasn't the best job, like yours. There were some great people, but even more nasty ones who disrespected and maligned me constantly. For five and a half years, I was able to put up with it with a smile on my face and the ability to generally move past any conflict quickly.

Then I was in a car accident in December of last year that really messed me up. I feel like I was on top of the world before it happened. I think my totaled car then took my pride and self-esteem with it to the junkyard. I don't know how happy I truly was back then, but I at least had the confidence to leave my house each day and try to be someone.

Now I've turned into someone I never imagined I would be. I can't leave my house without having panic attacks and am unable to drive myself or calmly drive with others as I have PSTD from that crash. The last thing I want to be is a paranoid shut-in, but it's so difficult to overcome. I'm getting to a point though where I don't think I have any more tears to cry or sleep to lose over everything. The sadness has to come to an end so that I can start over and maybe even be a better person than I was before all this.

Sorry. I didn't want to write too much and make a big deal of my story. But all of it just to say that I know how you feel. You're not alone and I hope that things have improved for you. All hope is not lost for any of us. Just gotta pick up the pieces and let go of past struggles that tie us down. Let the healing begin instead of tormenting ourselves over what we never could have changed. I know it's possible. It has to be.

 

[Abrasky]

I can relate to staying in bed thing. When I got PTSD, I would stay in bed half the day, then make it to the couch and stay there under a blanket all day. I would leave the house twice a month. It gets a lot better after treatment, the little steps are the really big big ones. I walked a giant for a while but then I walked the little steps again. Its all good. I don't spend any time in bed now.