Trauma Diary

[Echo]

@Healing Reins - it is not attention-seeking, please don't think that. Those are the kind of thoughts that many rape survivors have, and that keep them from getting help. You might have said that to your parents to put them off the scent, but it is not true.

In this country and I believe in others you can get rape kits done without getting the police involved. They are two separate processes. You can also get a lot of really good support from rape charities, also with no police involvement. Everyone else may be well-intentioned, and it is great that they want to support you. Please though get some expert help. Maybe your gyno will advise you. I hope so. Don't try and do it all at once. Take it step-by-step.

 

[Healing Reins]

Im kind of scared to go to the gyno.. What can i expect? Have any of you been?

 

[Healing Reins]

I think my youth group leader will take me

 

[Echo]

If your gyno knows you have been raped at any point in your life, she will be very gentle and respectful of you, I should think. It would be wise to tell her or if you find it difficult then whoever accompanies you could tell her. If you were hurting after the attack, then she will be even more gentle I would hope.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Echo,
You misunderstand the term "identifying". I stated "identifying details" which would be where this person lives, his name, etc. What you are referring to is evidence. Evidence such as bodily fluid only lasts a few days usually, but identifying details can last a lifetime. What I was saying is that the OP can and should be able to talk in therapy about her rape as much as she wants, but up until the point where the perpetrator can be identified, there is nothing to report.

 

[Echo]

@Solara - if you re-read my post, you'll find I have not misunderstood. I make suggestions about ways in which it may well be possible to identify the perpetrator via evidence. There have been other people (on this forum) who have taken rape tests 7 days after the attack and have produced DNA from their attacker. I'm no expert, but the OP is, in fact, seeing her gyno tomorrow, so she will hear from her what is possible in the country/state she is in. Witness statements, phone photos and the like could well identify the attacker/s, if the OP were to wish to involve police. I understand she feels she doesn't at the moment. These things can go on file and not result in anything beyond that unless the survivor wishes to take it further, since she is an adult. She can then decide, if she wants to, to do something about it later on.

I certainly agree with you that one ought to be able to talk in therapy about anything without there being any further consequences outside of the therapeutical relationship. I don't understand this therapist's stance at all, as I have said.

 

[Echo]

@Solara - I should also say that I was less concerned to respond to you; indeed, I had forgotten your post. What was much more on my mind was helping the OP, rather than getting caught up in the finer points of semantics.

 

[Healing Reins]

I don't believe i ever said I was going to the gyno tomorrow? If I did then I must have been thinking of something else about tomorrow and typed in tomorrow. I don't know yet when I am going to the gyno.

 

[Echo]

@Healing Reins - apologies, I think I have confused you with someone else. It comes from reading so many threads at the same time.

 

[NewDayTomorrow]

Just wanted to mention that a therapist also told me that if lying to my parents is what I need to do, go ahead and lie. I agree that you should tell them someday, but definitely get support wherever you can for now. Just remember to give your parents a chance to support you, when the time comes.

 

[Healing Reins]

I think I just had a flashback from what happened. I'm not sure if any of this is going to make sense, but it's like I saw what happened, I didn't see who did it, but He was just there on top of me going through the motions as I lay there. Part of me wanted to wake myself up to stop him, part of me just wanted it to keep going to see what happened. I'm not sure if it was a flashback. but it felt real, so real like it was happening again. On the bright side I grounded myself fairly quickly and was able to remember that I'm not there, I'm here and safe. So Progress is being made!

Was it a flashback?

 

[Echo]

It sounds as if it could well be, yes. I hope you have some support around you.