Trauma therapy confusion

[Punky143]

Hi,

I've been in therapy for a long time and probably should have been in it a lot sooner. Anyway, "we" as in my other parts have been working from the ground up so to say. From getting diagnosed with did, to learning what parts functions are etc, how to communicate etc etc brings us to about 2-3 weeks ago. The shift: Around that time, a group of not so nice parts started to indirectly communicate with her. My t said the truth about something and it made the parts mad and brought up a lot. The madness dwindled down to hurt, a very uncomfortable emotion for these parts. Vulnerability, yuck.

How do other people do trauma therapy (work full time, get everything done at home etc etc Are you able to follow up with your t after especially tough sessions? We have made a couple of attempts to reach out but no response. We used to get one. But something has changed. Some parts know dbt skills others don't and we don't have any support outside of sessions. It's just me and my parts feeling more and more lonely and detached just like we predicted.

Take care

 

[Movingforward10]

Can you ask these questions to your T?
sounds like those parts and T had a rupture. Be good to explore that with T.

after heavy sessions:
T allows me to email in crisis. She will always respond. might take her a day or two, so it’s not instant. But we have an understanding (which was hard for me to understand) what the boundaries of email between sessions looks like. It’s not a common occurrence. one Time only, she offered to speak with me between the session due to a crisis time.
otherwise: it’s self care, journalling, working out what works at work (having lots of meetings to distract? Or not. At the beginning, the following day after therapy I would have a ‘no meeting day’ in my diary, which helped. I‘m usually not as productive at work the next day.

 

[arfie]

i'll second @Movingforward10 's notion that these are most excellent questions to bring up with t.

as for how i survived that mind-ripping balancing act of recovery, work, etc., my most important tool was/is, "itsy bitsy baby steps." when dissecting proverbial elephants, itsy bitsy baby steps make the process far easier to be patient with. easy does it.

 

[OliveJewel]

It really was about coping tools for me. Fidgets, essential oils, all the little distraction games and activities (turn head 90 degrees to each side, find the colors of the rainbow in order, find the letters A-Z, hold ice), coloring, drawing, reaching out, routine, baths, and so on. I also had maladaptive coping strategies I was using at the time: drinking, marijuana, starving myself, and compulsive skin picking. I still use most of those coping strategies—the skin picking is the only maladaptive one I still use. I forgot about calling the crisis line. I had to do that for quite a while too. When I went to therapy I would report back on whatever crises and symptoms I had over the week and how many coping skills I used and that would be a source of positive mindset as she would feel proud of me and tell me how brave and strong I was.

 

[Wendell_R]

Loneliness with DID is hard. We have had luck with establishing friendship and community within our system of parts, and also meeting a few people with DID through the Healing Together conference: Healing Together Conference | An Infinite Mind | International Organization Dedicated to DID . (Check with your therapist about the conference first, though, since that can be overwhelming.) We think there's a peak of loneliness when the parts are coming out, but before they have found ways to interact with one another and the world and before they have coping skills. So please hang in there! The loneliness does get better, but it's a big challenge. It helps to find tangible ways for the parts to be physically present with the world: special toys for the little ones, clothing that matches each part, etc. We have a bunch of female parts and a male body, and we increasingly dress in a genderfluid way to express all of our parts.

We agree with what @Movingforward10 said about reaching out. We are allowed to reach out when our self care isn't working, but it's so important to talk explicitly with your therapist about what T's expectations and boundaries are.

We write a daily journal and email that (with a password) to our therapist before our session. We talk about what's in the journal during our session. Being able to write there, and know that we will share those thoughts, helps us to feel less lonely during the week.

We have a full time job plus a 6-hour a week volunteer job, too. As the parts have come up, honestly we are very, very tired. It's really important for us to have times when we disappear and walk in the woods and let the parts talk to one another.