Triggered Big Time

[munkinmama]

I got a call from my ex which upset me a great deal. He was very abusive and make several false allegations. He called me to tell me that our son was suspended from school for being high with 2 other kids(had to call school for details.) He got abusive right after I suggested our son stay with me for a bit This lead to his abusive allegations. What the conversation consisted of


1) he accused me of being abusive towards several of the dogs we had. He claims there were reports made to the SPCA which was not true. I remained quite about mentioning the fact he was the one who was abusive towards the dogs not me. I got quiet and he asked if I was still there. He refuses to take ownership for anything he has done would rather blame it on someone else


2)He does not trust me because I had kept the kids from him I should have contacted him when the kids were going to go into care .Instead of contacting him I opted for the kids to go into care but. he refused to take ownership for his absence for 5 years and kept throwing in my face about the current court order. I pointed out to him we both were guilty and did things so he should not put all the blame on me.


3)He mentioned the Zebra program contacted him and he is going to contact them. I told him he over reacted and how he handled that situation was wrong he had NO right to shame our son over an accident. The incident was when the boys were goofing around and Anthony went to tickle William and William turned so he touched his brother's penis. So now our oldest is being treated like a sex offender I also confronted him on him saying that if he found out the kids were gay he wuld chop their penis off and make them eat it. He told me I was crazy


4)He brought up the statement about him apparently saying "Now the white dog is back I can communicate with animals" I explained to him it was ex who I was living with who told me this at the time I was getting ready for work. He launched into how this guy was on drugs and this guy was the same guy who was trying to lure young girls (this true) also how he had rubbed the kids butts when they were younger (which was false)

5) He then went on about how accommodating he had been during the summer and what the court order said. I am now worried he is going to make things more difficult for me to have contact with the kids.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Maybe it would be a good time to consult with your lawyer. Head him off at the pass. Children should not be used as weapons.

 

[munkinmama]

I agree but my ex refuses to see this which is sad. He is ruining his relationship with his kids

 

[KwanYingirl]

I'm sorry you have to endure this. Protect yourself. Does he rant at you often? My ex bashed my kids with lies about me. My son believes him but not my daughter. It's a tough row to hoe, good luck. But seriously find out what the law can do to help you.

 

[munkinmama]

Yes it is hard situation to be in. Yes my ex rants to me often and he is always trying to lie to the boys. I am so grateful he was not arounf for those most important years where they are most impressionable. He only came back into their lives just over 2 years ago he disappeared for 5 years but as I said he blames me and says I tried to keep the kids away from him.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Makes you wonder what his motivations and intentions are. Would you say the kids like him? Or is it by duty they have to be with him?

 

[munkinmama]

they do not want to be with him but they have to be. I got sick and CPS placed them with my ex after telling me i was a liar about the abuse.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Ugh...how are you holding up with all this crap from him? I was in an abusive relationship but no kids-mine were in college. When I finally got rid of him thanks to the police I know he stalks me but nothing verbal. Sociopath. I'm moving next week and I begged my realtor not to put a sold sign on my house. I'm hoping to move at night hoping he'll not know where I am.
Sorry you have to listen to all that crap.

 

[munkinmama]

It is hard and he is a huge trigger for me unlike my other abuser and rapist who I do not have to see . Seeing my ex hubby i feel like i am being victimized over and over

 

[KwanYingirl]

I hope for your sake he moves on. Not that I wish someone else gets rattled by him, just that he leaves you alone.

 

[munkinmama]

Sadly he wont he is the type of man who does not forgive nor forgets hell he still has a grudge against his mom for a time when he was reunited with her and she would not loan him a clock radio. He was 17 at the time and now is 50. For him it is all about being in complete control

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yeah, my ex was the same way. I ended up in the ER twice for being suicidal, and they sent me to an intensive out patient program. I stayed alive, but could not get him out of my house. The police must have something on him, because when he told him to be out of my house by 7:00 the next morning, he left and the cop told me don't ever, ever, ever even so much as speak to him. Everyone said he'd move on to the next woman to mooch off of. I wish that I had the courage to press charges against him. In his mind, I was the abuser. He threw my 10 pound dog across a room. Fortunately the dog landed on the couch. That was the last straw.

I can't imagine how worse it would've been if we had children. He was always trying to get even with all of his real or imaging enemies.