Triggered/dissociated In Therapy

[katiekat]

This isn't the first time I dissociated in therapy, but it caught me off guard. Or rather, my therapist caught me off guard by using a particular trauma of mine (one of the only ones he knows details on) to illustrate a point he was making about something I had asked him regarding avoiding unpleasant emotions.

As soon as he brought it up I felt frozen, like he was getting further away from me, and I didn't really pay attention to what he was saying for a good five minutes I would guess. When he was done talking he asked what I thought of his explanation and I said I hadn't really heard it and was caught off guard by him talking about my trauma.

I felt embarrassed about it and the rest of the session was about safety nets and what to do when I feel triggered, and he said that maybe we were moving too fast. That discouraged me because I have made a lot of progress and truly want to keep going at this pace, but he didn't appear confident that it's a good idea. I

guess this is more of a post to get out what happened today in therapy, but to also ask if others are often triggered in therapy and if you have "safety nets" because I am sort of unclear about what he means by that term.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I had that experience in sessions with my old T too. I never knew what it was. I assumed it was a T's way of connecting dots or taking me in and out of the trauma safely, but she knew with time when I was dissociating, but never taught me safety nets.

Safety nets I think means grounding and coping skills. I could be wrong because I have no experience with a trauma T yet, but I have read that it's important to have these when talking about trauma to contain triggers and keep from dissociating during sessions. "Going too fast" could just mean that he realized that in that moment, grounding was more important than continuing talking about the trauma.

 

[Seasounds]

-I agree with above definition of safety nets.
- What I included in my safety net was to notice:

1. When I start to disassociate and then,
2. Immediately doing something to help myself associate. Speaking up and moving around are the most helpful. "I am uncomfortable", "I need to stand up and walk for a few minutes", are a couple of things I say. Even in therapy. I told my therapist that I would be doing this. (One therapist couldn't handle it.)
3. If I am in a formal professional or formal social situation, I will non-verbally note I am uncomfortable, breathe, and find a way to become active, like: getting a drink of water or excusing myself to use the bathroom.
4. I see all of this as a form of emotional regulation: helping me notice my cues and helping me take action.

-It does sound like your therapist isn't very sensitive to your trigger or to noticing when you disassociate. ( I've had this problem.) To bring up the past trauma as an analogy was not very skillful, because, of course, it triggered you.
-You might ask the T to not do this, in the future; instead, let you bring up the traumas.
- This last suggestion is only a good idea if your therapist allows your input. See how the T responds when you request a preference. A mature or flexible therapist will invite your feedback so they can adjust their behavior, to not trigger you. An immature or controlling therapist will become passive aggressive, resistant, or argumentative.

I think you are smart, aware, and on the right tract of noticing how and when to make a change in your moment to moment living, to help yourself be more associated!

I work at this process daily too. Being attentive and action minded has really helped me, and this kind of 'alive' involvement has helped me inform professionals (dentist, opthamologist) how to better serve me, when I get anxious or start to disassociate.

 

[Seasounds]

I've thought more about your post. Your experience has helped me process some trauma I had in therapy. It rattled me when my therapist triggered me. It was more concerning that he didn't notice when he had lost me.

I find that the beginning of disassociation is so subtle that I don't count on others noticing. Instead, I count on me. After I share with professionals I need an adjustment for disassociating (e.g. "Please repeat that.", "Please go slower.", "I need to take a break and move around.")

I do get sad, annoyed, depressed, and angry, when they don't demonstrate the skill to adjust; especially when the therapeutic agreement has been to provide calming support instead of providing a version of exposure therapy.

Psychologically, to not get empathy from significant people in one's life causes depression. "Wake up," I needed to tell myself. Bit by bit I've changed, and am still changing (which is hard), the quality of people in my life and the amount of time I spend with them.

At first, I didn't know how to trust my senses, and know that the therapist was unskilled. I thought that I had a problem, of being too sensitive. Now I know differently.

Trauma therapists may or may not be trained to pay attention to subtle cues and they may not be trained to adjust themselves, immediately, to follow what is helpful to the client.

As life is as it is, I can educate people who matter to me, see if they choose to be helpful, and then, take care to be with people I feel respected by, and/or have the resiliency to quickly find my center, if they have traits that trigger me.

Engaging anyone still feels risky, but with more skills, it is safer. I can spend more time, on top of the poker game. :)

 

[katiekat]

Change, I am not upset by my therapist triggering me actually. I have spent 7 months learning to trust him, and it helps that my best friend also sees him. I feel like from time to time my therapist tests the waters so to speak, to get a sense of where I'm at and how far he can push me. I have actually come to embrace being triggered in therapy because I feel safe enough to trust he will help me through it, and in that it also strengthens my relationship with him. I do get upset when it happens because I tend to judge myself for dissociating and it can make my session feel unproductive, which never feels good.

I am happy you are gaining your own insights from this discussion, that is awesome! Sounds like you have a strong internal compass to guide you :)