So, it's a Friday night, and I'm alone in my dorm with my girlfriend. You'd think we'd be having a good time (nothing sexual mind you). I was for awhile, until I got triggered/stressed. We were watching the Simpsons marathon (my favorite show growing up) on FXX. It was the episode where Homer becomes a food critice and there's a scene where he's sitting with the shower running off of him, and him "scrubbing off the failure". This scene was triggering/stressing to me (don't know which would be right in this context) considering that's what I did for a while after my rape and I still occasionally do it. I've always seen showers as a cleansing process apart from the physical cleansing because you can go in with a shitty attitude, and come out feeling much better. I kind of disassociated for like 30 minutes or so, and when I fully regained myself, we were laying down on my roommates bed, I was facing the wall, and she was comforting me. I know she has an anxiety disorder, so she kind of knew how to help/what it's like, but I felt weak letting myself be like that in front of her. Especially since we just started dating, and she doesn't know at all about my rape. Sorry if I'm just now getting to the point, but I felt like I just needed to tell someone everything first. I don't really know how to proceed from here, and I don't know what my next step of action should be. I've never had a girlfriend (even before I was raped I never had one) so I'm swimming in unfamiliar waters here. Any words of wisdom/advice guys and gals?
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