deeplyloved
MyPTSD Pro
My husband is a passionate debater and he often finds arguments cathartic. As far as I know, he does not have PTSD...though he did grow up in a dysfunctional home with domestic violence and alcoholism. We’ve been married for almost 20 years. He once threw a box (in the opposite direction of me) in anger and I told him it scared me. That was at the beginning of our relationship and he’s never done it again. But he is loud and passionate and it often triggers emotional flooding and shutdown in me. He feels like he has to walk on eggshells when he feels upset or we need to talk about something difficult.
We had another argument where I told him I was getting overloaded and couldn’t think, but he thought I was trying to avoid the topic and then, after my brain shut down, he thought I was ignoring him. We regrouped and talked about the crappy effects of PTSD and I reassured him that I don’t intentionally want to ignore him. It’s a physiological response and it’s not a logical process. He said he was grateful for that information but he’s not sure what to do differently.
We are married, with four children...we have to have discussions in a timely manner and they are not always fun. I do my best to participate fully, but the cost is quite high.
It takes me hours to recover from being triggered. It’s exhausting. That’s not his fault. We have to function as a family.
What have you found works well? I’d be grateful for any advice. I do plan to ask my therapist for some ideas. I think she will say I have to take extreme care of myself and reduce my overall stress load...but that’s something that also feels hard right now. I need to work on that too.
We had another argument where I told him I was getting overloaded and couldn’t think, but he thought I was trying to avoid the topic and then, after my brain shut down, he thought I was ignoring him. We regrouped and talked about the crappy effects of PTSD and I reassured him that I don’t intentionally want to ignore him. It’s a physiological response and it’s not a logical process. He said he was grateful for that information but he’s not sure what to do differently.
We are married, with four children...we have to have discussions in a timely manner and they are not always fun. I do my best to participate fully, but the cost is quite high.
It takes me hours to recover from being triggered. It’s exhausting. That’s not his fault. We have to function as a family.
What have you found works well? I’d be grateful for any advice. I do plan to ask my therapist for some ideas. I think she will say I have to take extreme care of myself and reduce my overall stress load...but that’s something that also feels hard right now. I need to work on that too.